My coworker called me on Thursday and asked me to stop by his desk. When I got there, he very seriously said, "You have to watch this."
After a pretty rough week, I thought there was something else that was about to go down.
I was completely oblivious to the fact that I was about to be given the magical gift of Native American hilarity.
Apparently this fella is a 400 pound Indian that really did wonder what the double rainbow meant....
As tears of funniness were streaming down my face (the video really did just get funnier and funnier), the only question I could ask (over and over, I might add) was, "Was he high????"
Rumor has it, he was only high on life.
(as an added bonus, you can also have the Double Rainbow song that someone on Youtube auto-tuned...I'm pretty sure it will soon be played in nightclubs across the country...)
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Friday, July 16, 2010
The things you do to save money...
Recently, I've been trying to cut costs. One of the funnest (and totally not sucky) parts of this is getting creative with whatever random foods I happen to have in my pantry and freezer (who has had meatballs for the last week for breakfast? I'll never tell...). Although I usually stick with my own fridge, sometimes I can't help but raid the one at work. Earlier this week we had one of our referring offices come for lunch. Per the usual, my favorite marketer (HI KAREN!) ordered a tray of wraps from Camille's. There are a few reasons why we love having guests, but naturally one of the perks is the seemingly endless supply of leftovers. You'd think I'd get tired of Camille's since I've had half a wrap for lunch and dinner for the last three days, but sadly...I have not.
One of my finest moments of this money-saving endeavor came tonight when I was cleaning out the fridge for the weekend (who likes to return to work on Monday to the smell of something growing on mystery food?)
There were 7 leftover wraps in the fridge that would definitely not stay so delicious for 2 more days. What would you do? Throw them away, you say?? Oh, heavens no. Not on my watch.
One of my finest moments of this money-saving endeavor came tonight when I was cleaning out the fridge for the weekend (who likes to return to work on Monday to the smell of something growing on mystery food?)
There were 7 leftover wraps in the fridge that would definitely not stay so delicious for 2 more days. What would you do? Throw them away, you say?? Oh, heavens no. Not on my watch.
While I appreciate that some people would feel comfortable throwing away that much edible food, I on the other hand, did not.
What did I do, you ask?
While I couldn't possibly consume that many tortillas (and honestly wasn't wanting that many carbs), I painstakingly unwrapped each one and picked every bit of chicken out of those wraps. It may sound like a lot, but, well...oh okay, who am I kidding? There was a bunch of chicken. Who cares, though? It's grilled chicken! How bad can it be for you??? Plus, who just had a free dinner consisting of bits of gourmet chicken (oh, yes...I just called it "gourmet"...I didn't have to cook it, therefore it's "gourmet". Just go with it, okay?)??? This gal!
Maybe next week's lunch meeting will be a Moe's (WELCOME TO MOE'S!!!) buffet and I'll be able to have my way with a tray of refried beans. A girl can only dream...
Maybe next week's lunch meeting will be a Moe's (WELCOME TO MOE'S!!!) buffet and I'll be able to have my way with a tray of refried beans. A girl can only dream...
Thursday, July 1, 2010
I stole them.
So many times I've read my favorite blogger's status updates on Facebook and wanted to steal them. Unfortunately, I'd feel too guilty if I did that and all of my Facebook friends (other than my momzy...she's already fake friends with him) have suffered for it. Suffered because they haven't gotten to read the awesome one liners.
Seeing that I want to remember these, I'm going to make a list of some of my faves...
LeBron James signs with Washington Generals. Promises to "Destory Curly and the rest of the Globetrotters next season."
"Retire, relax, enjoy your family. It is just a phone. Not worth it." Steve Jobs to mad customer. (I agree but Apple launched the iPhone 4 like it was made of unicorn tears)
"Eclipse is best Twilight film yet" (That's like saying "Getting punched hurts less than getting stabbed." It's relative)
"FIFA vows to fix officiating by November." Entire world points out that World Cup ends in July.
"This was a private incident between me and a bear," Best. Bear. Attack. Quote. Ever.
A guy is hitting on a girl on the train. I don't want to get off. It's like a low budget Bachelor. I want to see what happens next. Who will get the subway rose???
Watches don't break, they just become bracelets.
Portugal vs. Brazil is like a Kardashian-less version of the Lakers vs. the Celtics.
Sometimes I want to swim around in the Apple store like Scrooge McDuck in his money bin.
Diehard Lakers fan security guard jumped my car. Tempted to phone this day in to Delilah. Pretty sure Chicago can fix it.
It always terrifies me that airlines make you feel like it would only take one jerk playing bedazzled on their iPhone to crash the plane when electronics are supposed to be turned off.
Had dinner with MLB great John Smoltz last night. (He was a few tables over and didn't talk to me but that's semantics)
Just saw guy sitting in front of Apple store, using a Dell, wearing a shirt that said, "Your Mac sucks." He needed a hug.
Baseball announces they will not reverse perfect game call. Also tell kids Santa is not real & kicks puppy.
Burger King serving ribs might just be the fourth horseman heralding the end of days.
"Do you know the writer Jon Acuff? He lives near here." Stranger said to me at pool, upon meeting my family for first time. "I hear he's really handsome." My response.
There is no part of me that believes Kid Rock spent Detroit summers as a youth, "catching walleye & listening to Sweet Home Alabama"
I am convinced that the woman who turns on the light when she comes in at 9AM to work feels that the 20 of us who didn't turn it on are sitting in the dark because we were unable to find the switch.
Ever watch the last scene of the movie "Can't Hardly Wait" on Youtube over and over? No? Oh, me either. That'd be dumb.
Oil spill maybe "act of God." Texas Governor. (I'd argue but that breaks my "never argue with a guy who shot a coyote while jogging" rule)
NFL player Santonio Holmes kicked off plane for refusing to turn off iPod. Dang, how dope was the jam he had on! (My guess? It was Biz Markie, "Just a Friend." That song comes on, you don't turn it off.)
Okay...I'm forcing myself to stop. You get the point. I hope you found at least one as funny as I did.
Seeing that I want to remember these, I'm going to make a list of some of my faves...
LeBron James signs with Washington Generals. Promises to "Destory Curly and the rest of the Globetrotters next season."
"Retire, relax, enjoy your family. It is just a phone. Not worth it." Steve Jobs to mad customer. (I agree but Apple launched the iPhone 4 like it was made of unicorn tears)
"Eclipse is best Twilight film yet" (That's like saying "Getting punched hurts less than getting stabbed." It's relative)
"FIFA vows to fix officiating by November." Entire world points out that World Cup ends in July.
"This was a private incident between me and a bear," Best. Bear. Attack. Quote. Ever.
A guy is hitting on a girl on the train. I don't want to get off. It's like a low budget Bachelor. I want to see what happens next. Who will get the subway rose???
Watches don't break, they just become bracelets.
Portugal vs. Brazil is like a Kardashian-less version of the Lakers vs. the Celtics.
Sometimes I want to swim around in the Apple store like Scrooge McDuck in his money bin.
Diehard Lakers fan security guard jumped my car. Tempted to phone this day in to Delilah. Pretty sure Chicago can fix it.
It always terrifies me that airlines make you feel like it would only take one jerk playing bedazzled on their iPhone to crash the plane when electronics are supposed to be turned off.
Had dinner with MLB great John Smoltz last night. (He was a few tables over and didn't talk to me but that's semantics)
Just saw guy sitting in front of Apple store, using a Dell, wearing a shirt that said, "Your Mac sucks." He needed a hug.
Baseball announces they will not reverse perfect game call. Also tell kids Santa is not real & kicks puppy.
Burger King serving ribs might just be the fourth horseman heralding the end of days.
"Do you know the writer Jon Acuff? He lives near here." Stranger said to me at pool, upon meeting my family for first time. "I hear he's really handsome." My response.
There is no part of me that believes Kid Rock spent Detroit summers as a youth, "catching walleye & listening to Sweet Home Alabama"
I am convinced that the woman who turns on the light when she comes in at 9AM to work feels that the 20 of us who didn't turn it on are sitting in the dark because we were unable to find the switch.
Ever watch the last scene of the movie "Can't Hardly Wait" on Youtube over and over? No? Oh, me either. That'd be dumb.
Oil spill maybe "act of God." Texas Governor. (I'd argue but that breaks my "never argue with a guy who shot a coyote while jogging" rule)
NFL player Santonio Holmes kicked off plane for refusing to turn off iPod. Dang, how dope was the jam he had on! (My guess? It was Biz Markie, "Just a Friend." That song comes on, you don't turn it off.)
Okay...I'm forcing myself to stop. You get the point. I hope you found at least one as funny as I did.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Oh. So THIS is how I'm going to die.
Last Sunday as I was getting ready for church, I got a phone call from Lauren. She told me to strap on my boots 'cause we were going up to the mountains to go horseback riding at her dad's house. Although normally I'd be all about it, I felt a little guilty about missing church. Of course, that guilt was quickly dispersed when Lauren assured me that God would want me to go to the mountains.
By the time we made it to Virginia, it was lunchtime and her dad was cooking up some sloppy elk. It looked exactly like a regular sloppy joe, but tasted about 235% better. Who knew? Elk is delicious! After lunch we went out to the pasture to pick out our horses. I was told that Minnie was the easiest one to ride, so I got her. Lauren got Glory, the blind-in-one-eye horse who also happens to still be nursing her baby.
It took about an hour to saddle the horses up and I hopped on. Unfortunately, I pulled myself up onto Minnie like used to do when I was 5 years old and would pull myself onto Gus (with every bit of arm strength that I could muster). I managed to tear a few muscle fibers from the bone in which they were intended to stay attached to with that move. Ugh. I'm an idiot. (I can assure you that the second time I got on, I did it like a normal person. You know...with leg strength and grace.)
After riding Minnie around the barn about 3 times (for some reason she was really loving that barn), Lauren was on her horse and ready to go. Her dad had been fighting some sort of illness all week and said he would just wait in his truck while we rode for awhile (the pasture where the horses are is definitely not within walking distance of the house, so her dad had driven us to the barn).
The first 3 minutes of our excursion was great! Minnie followed Glory out into the field with lovely wildflowers and then came the not so fun part...
Right when we got to the edge where "the field" became "the woods", Minnie decided that she had had enough and she wanted to get back to the barn...fast. She turned around and ran full steam ahead through the wrong gate and between two ponds. No matter how much I pulled back and screamed, "WHOA!!!!", she would continue on (and actually go faster). My first thought was, "Well, this must be how I'm going to die. I will be falling off this horse and falling onto a rock like Michelle did in the series finale of Full House. Dang." Eventually I realized that if I didn't want to fall off, I would just have to let go of the reigns and hang on tight until she got to where she wanted to go.
Right as Minnie was turning around, I had seen Glory rear up on Lauren. By the time we finally got back to where Minnie wanted to go, I yelled for Lauren's dad to help me. My favorite part was when he just stared at me when I screamed "HELP!", but when I said, "Oh! And Lauren is having trouble with Glory back there!", he went running. Oh, well...I can't blame him for playing faves.
So needless to say, we spent our Father's Day doing something that has bugged fathers around the world for years...
Begging to do something (in this case, riding horses) and then calling it quits 10 minutes later when the going gets tough.
By the time we made it to Virginia, it was lunchtime and her dad was cooking up some sloppy elk. It looked exactly like a regular sloppy joe, but tasted about 235% better. Who knew? Elk is delicious! After lunch we went out to the pasture to pick out our horses. I was told that Minnie was the easiest one to ride, so I got her. Lauren got Glory, the blind-in-one-eye horse who also happens to still be nursing her baby.
It took about an hour to saddle the horses up and I hopped on. Unfortunately, I pulled myself up onto Minnie like used to do when I was 5 years old and would pull myself onto Gus (with every bit of arm strength that I could muster). I managed to tear a few muscle fibers from the bone in which they were intended to stay attached to with that move. Ugh. I'm an idiot. (I can assure you that the second time I got on, I did it like a normal person. You know...with leg strength and grace.)
After riding Minnie around the barn about 3 times (for some reason she was really loving that barn), Lauren was on her horse and ready to go. Her dad had been fighting some sort of illness all week and said he would just wait in his truck while we rode for awhile (the pasture where the horses are is definitely not within walking distance of the house, so her dad had driven us to the barn).
The first 3 minutes of our excursion was great! Minnie followed Glory out into the field with lovely wildflowers and then came the not so fun part...
Right when we got to the edge where "the field" became "the woods", Minnie decided that she had had enough and she wanted to get back to the barn...fast. She turned around and ran full steam ahead through the wrong gate and between two ponds. No matter how much I pulled back and screamed, "WHOA!!!!", she would continue on (and actually go faster). My first thought was, "Well, this must be how I'm going to die. I will be falling off this horse and falling onto a rock like Michelle did in the series finale of Full House. Dang." Eventually I realized that if I didn't want to fall off, I would just have to let go of the reigns and hang on tight until she got to where she wanted to go.
Right as Minnie was turning around, I had seen Glory rear up on Lauren. By the time we finally got back to where Minnie wanted to go, I yelled for Lauren's dad to help me. My favorite part was when he just stared at me when I screamed "HELP!", but when I said, "Oh! And Lauren is having trouble with Glory back there!", he went running. Oh, well...I can't blame him for playing faves.
So needless to say, we spent our Father's Day doing something that has bugged fathers around the world for years...
Begging to do something (in this case, riding horses) and then calling it quits 10 minutes later when the going gets tough.
Monday, June 21, 2010
That kid gets around...
After I got home from work today, I watched a Glee episode that I hadn't seen before (I didn't get on board with Glee until about 4 episodes in...so sad).
In this episode, they had this expensive jerk of a choreographer come in and be crazy-offensive to the kids of New Directions. I had to pause and rewind his scene multiple times to figure out where I had seen him before. Normally Chris is the guy to turn to for obscure "what-else-was-that-guy-in?" type questions, but I must say that I was proud of myself for figuring this one out.
This was him on Glee...
This is him as Duckface on Full House:
And the piece de resistance, my friends....
I knew I had seen him somewhere else, too. I could picture him...in the late 80's...in a really, really obscure video that they would show in Children's Church when they didn't feel like giving a real lesson.
Oh, yes. He played Phillip in McGee and Me. Bonus points (for anyone other than my mom) that has ever even heard of McGee and Me.
I couldn't find any pictures of him, but I did find a video on youtube. You'll find this kid at :18, so you don't have to look very far. Well, unless you want to...he actually does have speaking parts. (Also, check out Renee's hat. I remember thinking that she was just the coolest...)
So there you have it, my dears...I CAN be counted on to figure out what people starred in before they made it semi-big in a popular primetime musical comedy. Well, as long as that person starred in a family-friendly video series that may or may not have been produced by Focus on the Family and was frequently shown in conservative churches in the late 80's and early 90's.
In this episode, they had this expensive jerk of a choreographer come in and be crazy-offensive to the kids of New Directions. I had to pause and rewind his scene multiple times to figure out where I had seen him before. Normally Chris is the guy to turn to for obscure "what-else-was-that-guy-in?" type questions, but I must say that I was proud of myself for figuring this one out.
This was him on Glee...
This is him as Duckface on Full House:
And the piece de resistance, my friends....
I knew I had seen him somewhere else, too. I could picture him...in the late 80's...in a really, really obscure video that they would show in Children's Church when they didn't feel like giving a real lesson.
Oh, yes. He played Phillip in McGee and Me. Bonus points (for anyone other than my mom) that has ever even heard of McGee and Me.
I couldn't find any pictures of him, but I did find a video on youtube. You'll find this kid at :18, so you don't have to look very far. Well, unless you want to...he actually does have speaking parts. (Also, check out Renee's hat. I remember thinking that she was just the coolest...)
So there you have it, my dears...I CAN be counted on to figure out what people starred in before they made it semi-big in a popular primetime musical comedy. Well, as long as that person starred in a family-friendly video series that may or may not have been produced by Focus on the Family and was frequently shown in conservative churches in the late 80's and early 90's.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Thursday, June 17, 2010
This is how you write a blog...
I read today that there are 12 ways to write a blog. Only 12. Who knew??
I'm going to try to cover them all in one fantastical bloggity-blog-blog. (You know what's a funny word? Blog. Blllllllllllloggggg. Go ahead and say it. It's super!)
Okay, here we go...
1. Respond to something elsewhere on the web. There is a top news story on MSN entitled "Evasive BP CEO leaves Congress Flummoxed".
Does anyone else feel like the author of this news story went a little nuts with his thesaurus? I'm not embarrassed to say that I had to look that one up on dictionary.com. Okay, maybe I am a little embarrassed. Whatever. And really, how perplexed (apparently that's what "flummoxed" means) could congress really be? There is a pipe that won't stop spewing oil. No one can figure out how to fix it. Did they really think they were going to get answers on how to fix it from Tony Hayward? Ohhh...silly rabbit....
2. Suggest an idea.
Let's hang out this weekend.
Wait, you don't want to??
Oh, well...at least I suggested something.
3. Interview someone.
Unfortunately I don't have anyone at the hizzy with me. Well, except for Gary. I guess I shall interview him.
Me: Hey Punky! (Yes, I call him Punky when no else is around. He likes it...kinda.)
Gary:
Me: Are you mad at me because I got home late from work?
Gary:
Me: Did I forget to feed you again?
Gary:
Me: You can't silent treatment me! I'm going to silent treatment YOU!
Gary: *sneeze*
Me: Ugh.
4. Blog an event
Like a live event? Like what tech-savvy people do?? I'd have to make a few calls and it hardly seems worth it.
5. Ask a question
What is the most embarrassing thing on your iPod?
6. Pick a fight
Obama is brilliant.
Bush was amazing.
Ross Perot has big ears. (Not that anyone is really going to fight me on that. I just saw a picture of him and was reminded just how big his ears really are.)
7. Reflect on something
Remember that time we did that thing and it was really fun? We should do that again.
8. Do something visual
9. Review something
I'm going to review Stephanie Klein-Davis' picture that she submitted to The Roanoke Times of the concerned pregnant woman smoking.
AH-MAZING.
10. Make a list
Isn't this entire blog a list of ways to blog??
11. Write a how-to
What do you want to know how to do? You let me know and I'll do my best to write you a step by step guide.
12. Let someone else post
I actually have someone wanting to guest post. We'll see if that ever happens. Although, I do enjoy that one of the 12 ways to blog is to not blog and let someone else do all the work. Brilliant.
I'm going to try to cover them all in one fantastical bloggity-blog-blog. (You know what's a funny word? Blog. Blllllllllllloggggg. Go ahead and say it. It's super!)
Okay, here we go...
1. Respond to something elsewhere on the web. There is a top news story on MSN entitled "Evasive BP CEO leaves Congress Flummoxed".
Does anyone else feel like the author of this news story went a little nuts with his thesaurus? I'm not embarrassed to say that I had to look that one up on dictionary.com. Okay, maybe I am a little embarrassed. Whatever. And really, how perplexed (apparently that's what "flummoxed" means) could congress really be? There is a pipe that won't stop spewing oil. No one can figure out how to fix it. Did they really think they were going to get answers on how to fix it from Tony Hayward? Ohhh...silly rabbit....
2. Suggest an idea.
Let's hang out this weekend.
Wait, you don't want to??
Oh, well...at least I suggested something.
3. Interview someone.
Unfortunately I don't have anyone at the hizzy with me. Well, except for Gary. I guess I shall interview him.
Me: Hey Punky! (Yes, I call him Punky when no else is around. He likes it...kinda.)
Gary:
Me: Are you mad at me because I got home late from work?
Gary:
Me: Did I forget to feed you again?
Gary:
Me: You can't silent treatment me! I'm going to silent treatment YOU!
Gary: *sneeze*
Me: Ugh.
4. Blog an event
Like a live event? Like what tech-savvy people do?? I'd have to make a few calls and it hardly seems worth it.
5. Ask a question
What is the most embarrassing thing on your iPod?
6. Pick a fight
Obama is brilliant.
Bush was amazing.
Ross Perot has big ears. (Not that anyone is really going to fight me on that. I just saw a picture of him and was reminded just how big his ears really are.)
7. Reflect on something
Remember that time we did that thing and it was really fun? We should do that again.
8. Do something visual
9. Review something
I'm going to review Stephanie Klein-Davis' picture that she submitted to The Roanoke Times of the concerned pregnant woman smoking.
AH-MAZING.
10. Make a list
Isn't this entire blog a list of ways to blog??
11. Write a how-to
What do you want to know how to do? You let me know and I'll do my best to write you a step by step guide.
12. Let someone else post
I actually have someone wanting to guest post. We'll see if that ever happens. Although, I do enjoy that one of the 12 ways to blog is to not blog and let someone else do all the work. Brilliant.
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