Thursday, April 16, 2009

Buffalo chicken and deviled eggs.

I decided today that I would suck it up (whatever "it" is, I'm not sure...) and go to Walmart to grocery shop. Everyone knows how much I heart the Teet, but I got a talkin' to by the Jackster about how I need to quit throwing away my money on overpriced groceries. Now, don't get me wrong...I will return to my beloved Harris Teeter the next time I need random grocery items, but she is right...a full-on restocking of your pantry shelves really does need to be done at the cheapest place in town. 

I'm not sure why I just gave you that entire set up. I guess it's because I wanted to explain why I would set foot into a Walmart (I just got shivers down my spine).

So after spending two hours (yes...TWO HOURS) shopping for everything from laundry detergent to Will's 5th birthday present (who knew that Bakugan is the "it" thing these days??), I made my way outside to find my car. I felt dread when I saw the ever-present "charity" outside the Walmart doors. I tried to avoid eye contact, but it was to no avail. The lady got right in front of my cart and said, "Ma''am! Do you have a moment?"
I felt like telling her that I definitely did NOT have a minute and especially didn't have a minute for anyone wearing Crocs, but I'm one to hide my feelings well (DON'T roll your eyes at my blog!) and said, "Sure."

The "charity" was for some Children's Safety Network or something stupid and fake like that. The lady handed me off to some super excited guy. Like I always do, I'll just give you our exchange...

Super Excited Guy: Do you have any kids!?!?!
Me: No. 
SEG: Oh. Do you care about kids???
Me: Ummm...I guess? 
SEG: Well for a donation of $20, you can help save children!
Me: thanks. (I was quickly realizing that this "donation" would cost me one less drink in Vegas. Forget that noise!)
SEG: Well, can you donate anything? Even $5 or $10 would help.
Me: Fine. Sure. If you take can have $5.
SEG: Great! You're really helping! 
(I hand him my debit card)
SEG: You know, for $10 you can buy this toy that is normally $20 and give it to a child in need!
SEG: Okay. Well...I'll just imprint your credit card here. And I'm going to add 36 cents for tax. I forgot to mention 36 cents okay with you??
Me: Sure. Whatever.
SEG: One more thing.
Me: What???????
SEG: High five! I need a high five from you!

I still cringe at the fact that I high-fived the man that scammed me out of $5 for a charity that is TAXED!!!!

I told myself that if I can ever muster the desire to go to Walmart again and that guy is charitying it up, I'm totally going to knee him in the nuts. Jerk.

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