Saturday, April 24, 2010 time!

FINALLY! Someone posted it!

I wanna knowwwwwwww....if you wanna get together....

(If you just want to see Amos break down some Shai, get about 6 minutes into this video. He apparently didn't like the Atlanta crowd as much as he liked the Charlotte crowd, because he didn't sing the whole dang song like I have recorded on my cell.)

Friday, April 23, 2010

I grew up on the street. Oh, no...not the 'hood. The Sesame Street.

I realize that no one will find this as funny as I did, but I've kept this episode of Scrubs on my DVR for about a year and a half now.

Apparently, I didn't have to since someone was cool enough to put all of the best parts together in a youtube video.

A quick word about Scrubs, I'm sad that the original is over...I'm even sadder that they tried to continue it on with a completely different cast in a completely different situation. We've seen this done before and it never works. Saved By The Bell: The New Class, anyone???

I'm really not sure why they thought taking a brilliant show (yes, I thought it was brilliant) with not-so-great ratings and making it stupid would save the ratings. But then again, why ask why??

Friday, April 16, 2010

Now THAT is a majestic beard!

My oldest friend in the world (our moms have been friends since they were teenagers and we've been friends since he was born 2 months after me) Ryan told me about this dude 3 years ago and I did the classic, "Yeah, yeah, know nothing about music, go back to your Britney Spears, fool!"
Okay, I didn't really say that to him. We actually have very similar taste in music, but for some reason I was into my music at the time and I kind of put William Fitzsimmons on the back burner and forgot about him.

Fast forward to last week when I bought a song on iTunes and it recommended ol' Fitzsimmons to me. I loved the sound bites so much that I actually ordered his album online so that I'd have the hard copy of it (I feel so corporate when I say things like "hard copy"...maybe I can add "roll out" and "go live" to this blog and people will be all crazy-confused as to whether or not it's my blog or a corporate memo).

I researched him a bit today and found out a few interesting facts, such as the fact that he is touring in Germany at the moment. Okay, that's not very interesting. What was interesting was the fact that he is the son of two blind parents (hence the coke bottle glasses) and sounds were very important in his house (What wasn't important in his house, you ask??? The use of a razor.) He also has his Masters to be a mental health therapist. Dang...helping the mentally ill makes for some great music.

Personally, I'm a fan of the tattoo on his forearm, which is "grace" in Hebrew. (Sidenote: Hey Chris, if you still want to get a tattoo on your forearm...pick that one. Grace will always be important and I can't imagine you regretting that tat in 10 years. Mom, please back me up in that sentiment.)

So, while I love his original stuff (ask me if you want to take a listen, you know I love sharing)...I saw this cover of Kanye West's Heartless on iTunes. I'm not going to lie. He's a bazillionty times better than Kanye.

PS. I just friended him on Facebook and this was his most recent status update:

"Remember that kid in 3rd grade who would eat handfuls of shredded cheese right from the bowl on taco day? That was me. Gosh I miss taco day."

I dare you not to love this guy.

PPS. This is Ryan's favorite song. Just thought I'd throw it in here as an added bonus. You're welcome, my lovelies.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

An Answer to Julie's Starbucks Guy Blog...

Dear Creepy Guy That Keeps Staring At Me In the Waiting Room,

Although you are 47 (and look roughly 62) and I am usually a fan of an older gentleman, I am not a fan of you. Let me count the reasons:

1. You're cross-eyed. And not in the fun kind of way.
2. Your hair is longer than mine. And my hair seems to be getting pretty long as of late. (Note to self: Get a haircut.)
3. You are wearing a strange hybrid of bandana, hat, and Zumba pants on top of your head.
4. You said that you "enjoy the scenery" when you were referring to looking at me. I only find that flattering when I'm about 3 glasses of wine in.
5. You are wearing the Nascar Digger rodent shirt that they feature on Fox during races. Not only is this shirt existing on your body, but you also have it tucked into your high-waisted man jeans in an extreme sort of fashion. It's so tight, that I swear I can see your nips through it.

There are a few more reasons, but I feel that I should save those for the next time you come in and stare at me. And just so you know, while getting male attention usually does help with my self-esteem, your attention seems to have the opposite effect.

Thank you so much,

PS. If you actually come in again, I'm not afraid to get a restraining order against you.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Cancer blows.

I got an email from my BFF Ali this morning, saying that he is the captain of his team for the American Cancer Society Relay For Life.

If you know anything about me, you know that I hold this cause very dear to my heart.

Please...donate $5 or $10 to help Ali meet his goal.

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Dang. That would suck.

Poor Oprah.

I hear that she has a new unauthorized biography coming out where someone (a very stupid someone, who obviously is doing it for the benjamins, baby) interviewed 800 (only Oprah could have 800 people that consider themselves "close") of her closest friends and family and dug up some crazy dirt.

It's not that I really feel super bad for Oprah, I mean...she's Oprah. But, how awful would that be to have someone decide that they are going to write a book about you and interview all of the people from your life. True, there will be some people that will paint you in a great light, but what about the people that don't have warm-fuzzy thoughts about you? Let's not lie, everyone has someone that doesn't care for them (even if it has no real foundation). The problem lies in the fact that people actually care about Oprah and will believe all of the crap that is in this book.

Back to my point of this post...

I thought about this the other day when I thought that I had nothing to hide and could totally be president (someone was profiling John Edwards and it's well known that that dude has some skeletons; that's what made me think "president").

What would be the worst thing that someone could write about you and who would sell you out??

Hopefully your parents wouldn't like Oprah's dad did. That crap has gotta burn...

Saturday, April 10, 2010

The last person on my list to get advice from...

I read today that Kate Gosselin is going to be starring in a new show called Twist of Kate (let me first say that I use the word "starring" quite lightly). The premise of the show is that she will be traveling around the country, helping real families with their everyday challenges.

I'm just going to let that seep into your skin for a moment.

1. Where in her life is she proving that she should be an advice giver? Is it more of a "don't be like me" scenario?
2. Who is taking care of her kids?
3. Why is no one seeming to understand that she is the devil's sidekick?
4. Who would actually invite her into their home?
5. What in her life made her so mean?
6. What kind of challenges are we talking about? The inability to pick an effective hairstyle?
7. WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! And...would anyone actually watch??? Since the kids aren't allowed to be on the show (and the only reason I watched in the first place was the shorty with glasses, Aaden, was just so darn adorable), does anyone want to watch the nag? No. Not a person on this planet...except for maybe Jon's lawyers to prove that she remains a horrible mother.

If I could pick any reality star to come help with my "everyday challenges", I would absolutely pick Michelle Duggar. Her organizational skills are mad awesome (and she has a soothing voice...who doesn't like a soothing voice???)

Friday, April 9, 2010

Disregard the screaming at the beginning...

When I'm out in the real world and I think of something or find a song that I really love, I'll always make a memo to myself on my phone to find it at a later date. Today I am cleaning out my memos and I found a memo that I wrote to myself at the Amos Lee concert.

He has a new song (that I can only imagine will be titled "Stay") on his yet to be released new album and I loved it so much that I quite literally had tears in my eyes when he was singing it. Since I can't have this on my iTunes quite yet, I thought I'd post it to my blog...

PS. Other things that I've found on my phone today? The song that I heard while at Corkscrew with Thomas (Citizen Cope "Sideways") and the website that I saw when I was in Boston,

PSS. Here is another new song he played ("Learned a Lot") scares me that there has been no announcement as to when he's going to be releasing his new album.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

I don't do nearly enough of these things...

What do I do when I can't think of anything to write about?? I do a survey, because I know at least one person will be happy.

What is on your bed right now? Pillows and blankets and a dead body (promise you won't tell anyone).

Name 3 people who made you smile today? Debbie (I was more trying to stifle laughter, but a smile did creep across my face in my attempt to do so), Angelo (he's a funny dude), and a few patients (it's a law that we have to smile at them).

What were you doing at 8 am this morning? Smoking a crack pipe and talking to a patient about life.

What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Talking to another patient about life. We talk about life a lot at work.

What is your favorite holiday? Columbus Day, by far.

What is the last thing you said aloud? "Great white buffalo..."

What is the best ice cream flavor? Vanilla...on top of a warm brownie...with whip cream and magic on top.

Have you bought any new clothing items this week? I bought a dress for a wedding and a shirt for a baseball game.

When was the last time you ran? Monday. It was going well until the stupid ho that wears entirely too much perfume got on the treadmill next to me and I felt like I was breathing in poison.

What's the last sporting event you watched? Well, baseball is on TV right now. But if we're talking about a live game. Ummm....errr...oh, crap. I have no idea.

Who is the last person you sent a comment/message on Facebook? I told my aunt Gwen happy birthday. It was really personal and heartfelt....thank God for the Facebook birthday reminder.

Ever go camping? Yes. It lasted from about 7pm to 6am. I am NOT a camper and there is no such thing as a "happy camper" in my world.

Do you have a tan? Thomas recently called me "tan-tastic".

Do you use smiley faces on the computer alot? Absolutely! :) ;D :( :\ :D ;)

Do you drink your soda from a straw? If it's from a can, no. If it's from a glass with ice in it, yes. I hate the feeling of ice against my teeth. Plus, I'm not a dude and I have to pretend that I wear lipstick (which I absolutely don't).

What did your last text message say? Outgoing: "Okie dokie, then. You sleep well, my dear!" Incoming (Ha! I love this!): "You're the bees knees. The cat's pajamas. The kitten's mittens. The tits, the shiz, and the bomb, baby-cakes!"

Are you someone's best friend? I wish.

What are you doing tomorrow? Sleeping in until 9am and then I may try to talk a certain someone into going to get some lunch. Other than that, I'm open for suggestions.

Where is your mom right now? At work. Or at a concert. Or hanging out with a band of some kind. Or on vacation. Wow...there are so many places that you could be, momzy...

What color is your watch? I have a silver watch, but I don't really wear it to work.

What do you think of when you think of Australia? "THE DINGO ATE MY BABY!" (Wait? Was that Australia?? Oh, feels right.)

Ever ridden on a roller coaster? Who hasn't?

What is your birthstone? Amethyst. Jealous?

Do you go in at a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Who goes inside when there is a drive-thru available? If I'm going to eat fast food, I'm not going to exercise (even when that exercise consists of getting out of the car and walking inside a building)!

Last person you talked to on your cell? Last night I called Sam and she responded with, "I'm getting the boys in the car, let me call you from the road."
Not surprisingly, I didn't hear from her. I was the fool to think she meant, "Let me call you when I get the boys in the car TODAY."

Any plans today? Thomas and I are going to Red Rocks and then Corkscrew.

Are you happy? I'm always happy.

Biggest annoyance in your life right now? A certain someone who likes to talk A LOT about nonsense.

Last song listened to? The Fray "All at Once" is on Muzak right now. Did you know that sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same?

Last movie you saw? The Bounty Hunter. I wouldn't recommend it.

Favorite pair of shoes you wear all the time? I wear my sneakers about 80% of the time. But my favorite shoes are my brown flippies. Ohhhh, how I've missed you, flippies...

Are you married? Thanks for pointing that out, stupid survey.

Do any of your friends have children? When they start having kids, I don't let them be my friend anymore. THAT will give you something to think about once you start talking about procreation with your spouse, blog reader...

Do you use the word 'hello' daily? "Hello"? No. "Hi"? Yes.

How many kids do you want when you're older? 2 or 1 or 0 or whatever number happens to pop out of me.

How did you get one of your scars? I ran through a burning building to save a box of kittens and I tripped and skinned my knee. Oh, wait...that's not what happened. I was playing tennis and slid on the wet court. I prefer the burning building story, though.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

How did it know that!??!?

My work has been trying to implement a program for a few months now where everyone is family and the only thing you feel when you come to work is sunshine, rainbows, and butterflies. I find it a little funny since in our center there are about 5 core people and then a few add-ons every once in awhile. We've all worked together since we opened 3 years ago and in such tight quarters, you are bound to become family. I don't know a family on this planet that is 100% great, 100% of the really, I'm not sure how we can become more like a family than we already are.

In our attempt to become more "family-like", we did a DiSC profile (I'm not sure why the "i" is little, I suppose he must have an inferiority complex). There are roughly 239 questions where you pick the thing that is most like you and it will shoot out a few pages of personality results. Now these things aren't words like "emotional" (which I am) or "unemotional" (which I am definitely not). No, no, no...these questions are like, "Feather. Ladder. Boat. Cat."

I mean, OBVIOUSLY I am most like a boat, right? That was an easy question. My point is that it was always 4 things that had no correlation with each other and it was supposed to tell me how awesome I am.

After an afternoon of question-answering (I say "afternoon", but what I meant to say was "15 minutes"), my results came out.

Does anyone want to take a guess to my number one characteristic? Go ahead...I'll give you a minute....

*Be sure to let a minute pass before you continue reading*


Because I picked boat, suddenly this stupid profile thinks I'm sarcastic!

Now, I can't be absolutely sure, but I think it may be a little off. Apparently other words that describe me include decisive, adventuresome, change-oriented, and demanding. The words that I completely agree with are emotional and gregarious.

Apparently I was put into the Inspirational Pattern. Some of the highlights include:

Emotions: accepts aggression, downplays need for affection (HA!)
Judges others by: projection of personal strength, character, and social power
Under pressure: becomes manipulative, quarrelsome, or belligerent (that was my personal favorite)
Fears: weak behavior

Wow. All of that information came from me answering "boat".

Who woulda thought??

I certainly hope my work can be more family-like now that we took this very insightful quiz (that I believe was probably originally printed in the back of a Teen magazine).

Monday, April 5, 2010

Why is no one calling them ho-bags??

I can understand people being absolutely horrified at Tiger's behavior. Although he has stated that he has a "sex addiction", there seems to be a general consensus that "sex addiction" is a made up disorder. As someone told me recently, "He doesn't have a dang sex addiction, he's a guy with no morals!"

Amen to that. The guy is a Grade A hornball with zero morals.

The thing I don't understand is that all of these women that are coming forward are being victimized in the media.
"Poor thing! He only bought her a Subway sandwich!"
"She asked him for help and he said he couldn't!"
"When he flew her to where he was, he didn't even fly her in first class!"

What happened to women saying, "No, you're MARRIED."???????

My favorite quote was from the waitress who said that she asked Tiger where his wife was and when he said she was in Sweden, they had sex on the kitchen floor. She was amazed that he had fine stainless steel appliances.

1. You can't pretend that you didn't know he had a wife. YOU ASKED WHERE SHE WAS.
2. You are selling your story and the only thing you can think of to say is that he had nice appliances?
3. You're ugly. Like crazy ugly. Like you belong in the Rocky Horror Picture Show ugly.

Let me no way am I condoning Tiger's behavior. I just want to pretend that there is at least one girl on this planet that can say, "Yes, Tiger propositioned me...and I said no."

This winner only got to fly economy class. How sad for her. She should probably get naked and cry about how she wasn't treated better by a guy that cheats on his wife.

This Rocky Horror Picture Show ho met Elin and Tiger at the restaurant that she waitressed at and decided it was okay to sleep with Tiger because he didn't seem that into his wife while they were eating at the diner. Well, as long as she has a scientific equation to figure out if it's okay if she sleeps with a married man, I suppose it's okay then...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

These are supposed to be hard to answer.

You will die in three minutes. Last call? You. Most definitely you.

If you could do anything OR wish anything, what would it be?
Does the wish come true? Because if it's a wish that doesn't come true, then that's just dumb. If it does come true, I'd wish for more wishes. That's what all of the smart people do.

You are walking to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss told you if you are late one more time you're fired. Do you save the dog? How many times have I been late to work? Geez, this hypothetical me has a pretty poor work ethic.

Would you or have you ever blackmailed someone? Many times.

Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them 1 hour of life back, but you have to give one year of your life. Do you do it? Would it be bad if I said no? Because he totally got to live well into his 80's and Facebook told me the other day that I'm going to die when I'm 30. I really don't want to die at 29.

Are you the kind of friend that you would want to have as a friend? Absolutely! Kinda! I think!

Are you old fashioned? I'm kind of an intense hybrid of old fashioned and new fashioned.

What would be harder for you, to tell someone you love them or that you do not love them back? Ohhhh...definitely that you do not love them back. If you have a problem telling people that you love them, then you may need to plant a seed and grow a heart.

Would you give a homeless person CPR if they were dying? Of course. Who wouldn't?

You are holding onto your grandmother's dying hand and the hand of a newborn that you do not know as they hang over the edge of a cliff. You have to let one go to save the other which one would it be? Wait. 1. Why would someone even think of this question to ask? 2. My grams is already dying? 3. Is the baby cute?

Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Oh, sure. Why not?

Tell me about the last dream you remember having? Do you really care? How awesome is it when people say, "Let me tell you about this weird dream I had last night."???

What comes to mind when I say cabbage? Cabbage patch dolls (which I used to call my "Patchy Patch doll")...and oddly enough, the coleslaw from 131 Main.

Are you emotional? Not even a little bit.

Would you dance to the taco song? What the crap is the taco song??

Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it? I'm not sure I know anyone that bites into their ice cream.

Have you ever met a celebrity? Depends on who you consider a celebrity, but yes.

What are you listening to right now? Janet Jackson on Oprah. Wow...she sounds so much like Michael Jackson, it's a little creepy.

How many countries have you visited? Just Mexico and Canada.

Are your parents strict? Were they? Yes. Are they now? Nope. Not even a little bit.

Would you go out to eat with George W. Bush? Absolutely. (Seriously, why do all of these surveys ask a question about GWB???)

Would you throw potatoes at him? WHAT kind of question is that?!?!?! One, no. I would not throw anything at him. I would be interested in talking to him. Two...holy crap...I would NEVER waste a potato.

Do you rent movies often? I would like to have the time, but I really don't. I just have too much stuff on DVR to watch. My life is so darn hard.

Do you own a gun? Nope. My brother inherited those from my diddy. But I've definitely pulled the trigger a few times.

Who are you going to be with tonight? Beth. The boys are playing poker and we are the only two girls left in Charlotte. (Yes, we are the ONLY two girls left in the city of Charlotte...I'm starting to like my chances of finding a man out here...)

Brown or white eggs? I ain't racist.

Do you own something from Hot Topic? Like a rusty razor?? Nah...

Ever been in love? Absolutely.

Are you too forgiving? HA! Wow. A little bit.

Do you use lip balm? Someone at work pointed out yesterday that I pretty much only use lip balm.

Can you use chop sticks? Not so much. My man hands get in the way. I can if I try really hard, but eating sushi really shouldn't be THAT difficult.

Have you ever seen The Butterfly Effect? I don't think I've seen it, but the concept was actually in the movie I saw last night (Hot Tub Time Machine). I absolutely believe in the idea that one tiny thing can change the future in a major way.

What was the last question you asked? I'm quite sure it was in this blog. Just a sec..."Like a rusty razor?"

What was the last CD you bought? Mutlu. He opened for Amos Lee and was quite good.

Boys or girls? In what context? I would prefer to mate with a boy. If I ever had a baby, I'd want it to be a boy. I generally get along with boys better. Wow. I guess in all areas, I'd go with "boy".

What was your bus number for school? I can not believe that I remember this. Wow...I have a horrible memory, but I happen to remember that I had two buses between 6th-9th grade: #19 & #33.

Are you sarcastic? Yes. Very. It seems to get me into trouble.

Do you have any tattoos? Not a very cool one, but it's the only one I'll ever have. Many people don't even believe me when I say that I have one...even when I show it to them.

The last person you held hands with? Gasp! What a personal question! That's none of your dang business!

Do you sleep with the TV on? I put it on sleep.

Where was your default picture taken at? On Facebook? In Baton Rouge at a LSU game with the Fisicaros and Chris. On the blog, it was at Thomas Street Tavern for Julie's going away party.

Do you hate or dislike more than 3 people? I don't hate people. But, sure...I dislike a few people.

What was the most recent thing you bought? Groceries.

Could you ever forgive a cheater? Yes. But as I've said a bajillionty times before, I'd rather not know that I've been cheated on. Wait! No! I should say that I'd actually rather just not be cheated on, thankyouverymuch.

Friday, April 2, 2010

It made me smile.

Let me start off by saying that I'm not normally one for finding pets adorable. Of course I love Gary, but when it comes to random dog calendars and other such nonsense...well, don't expect me to swoon.

The other day I was perusing the interweb (yup, I just called it the "interweb") and saw this picture on MSN. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or be creeped out.

Either way, this picture was taken by a woman who gave her dog a 1st birthday party and noticed that her dog was smiling. I'm trying my best to not judge a woman who would give her dog a 1st birthday party, but whatever...the dog looks almost like a little boy in a dog costume, that may or may not have smoked a joint.

See what I mean?? Creepy, yet adorable...