Sunday, July 3, 2011

Your New Best Friend!

Today I had the TV on in the background and I heard this commercial...

Your new best friend will tell you look fabulous when no one else will!

Does anyone else find this toy unbearably sad? Not that I have kids, but I would never be able to buy this for my daughter and allow her to talk to a robot alone in her room.

Friday, June 24, 2011

Is it just me?

On my way to work this morning I was stuck behind a Mustang that happened to contain two middle-aged, granola-looking folk. That felt like a contradiction, but what felt more like a contradiction were the two bumper stickers on the back of their 'stang.

Is it just me or does anyone else find it funny that while they promoted tolerance of all religions, they are simultaneously mocked one of them?

Monday, May 30, 2011

Does anyone else remember this?

For some reason this song popped in my head on my way home from volleyball today. It probably had something to do with the fact that I didn't wear any sunscreen - and felt a little bummed about that.
It scares me a little bit that I feel as young as I was when it came out (...and it came out 12 years ago).

Happy Memorial Day, everyone! Just remember...WEAR SUNSCREEN!

Monday, May 16, 2011

For my mom...

I had a discussion tonight with my favorite mom ever (it was a tough choice, but I figured that she deserved to take the top spot). She informed me that her favorite blogs to read are when I answer questions. Seeing that those are pretty much the easiest ones to write (since half of it is written for you and you don't even have to think of the questions), I'm going to give her the gift of the answered question tonight. I hope it lives up to your expectations, momzy!

Apple juice or orange juice? Apple juice if I feel like having an apple. Orange juice if I feel like having a tomato.

Are you a morning or night person? It is not abnormal for me to go to bed at 8pm. It also isn't abnormal for me to sleep until 9am. Can I be a mid-morning to evening person??

Which do you prefer, sweet or salty foods? Salty. Definitely salty. Although...there is this restaurant in Charlotte called Dandelion Market that has a chocolate brownie with a dash of of sea salt on top. It sounds disgusting, but I assure is delightful.

Ninjas or pirates? Pirates.

Ninjas vs pirates, discuss. Isn't it obvious?

Autobots or Decepticons? Autobots....derrr....

What was your favorite childhood television program? So there was this one time where my family was in middle of dinner and I realized that the last.ever.episode. of Full House was going to be on in mere moments. Oh, I loved that show. My dad almost didn't let me go watch it, but I'm pretty sure he saw the tears welling up in my eyes and said, "Oh, fine...go watch it."
I mean, seriously...Michelle had fallen off of a horse and she had lost her memory! She didn't even remember that her dad liked to hug and that she was called "munchkin" by her Uncle Jessie! I am so thankful that my dad let me go watch it, mainly because I would have never found out that her memory came back and that show ended on a positive note. It was always questionable with that show whether or not it would end on a positive note.

Are you a collector of anything? Dreams.

If you could have any superpower, what would it be? Teleportation. Or to breathe under water like Aquaman (that seems like a super useful superpower if someone ever tries to hold your head under water).

What is usually your first thought when you wake up? Already?!?!

What do you usually think about right before falling asleep? It usually has something to do with whatever the last text or call was about.

You're given 1 million dollars, what do you spend it on? House, car, and savings.

Any tattoos or piercings? A white tattoo on my ankle and my ears are pierced. It's pretty hardcore.

What's the first thing you notice in the opposite sex? Their smile usually tells a lot about their personality.

What personality traits do you look for in a partner? Funny and kind. Both are musts.

Do you see yourself getting married in the next 5 years? I wouldn't be opposed to it, but I won't be devastated if it doesn't happen.

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would you live? I feel like I'm living in the place that I want to live in. If I wanted to live anywhere else, wouldn't I?

If you could visit anywhere in the world, where would you go? I realize this is super vague, but I'd love to visit Europe. Oh, yes...all of Europe.

Name 1 regret you have: Wasting time. (Yup...I've being vague again)

Name 1 thing you miss about being a kid: Not paying bills.

Name 1 thing you love about being an adult: Freedom to do whatever I want, whenever I want to do it. What's funny is that now I'm an adult, I go to bed earlier than what my childhood bedtime was.

What's your favorite song of the moment? Arms - Christina Perri

What's your favorite thing to do on a Saturday night? Dinner with friends

What's your favorite thing to do on a Sunday afternoon? Catch up on DVR and think about how awesome it is that I had enough energy to mow the lawn on Saturday afternoon.

You're about to walk the green mile, what do you have as your last meal? Why do they call it the green mile? What did I do to find myself in that situation?? Hmmm...probably a TON of spaghetti and cheese (yes, with ketchup) so that my stomach feels so bad that I want to die.

What would be your dream job? I'm still figuring that out.

Which would you rather have, 100 million dollars or true love? I'm pretty sure that if I had a 100 million dollars, I could find true love...or at least the closest thing to it.

If you could have 3 wishes granted, what would they be? True love, 100 million dollars and, of course, more wishes...

Ever wish you were born the opposite sex? If so, why? Sadly, I recently wished that I was from a different country (something to do with work being an "equal opportunity employer"), but no...I've never wished for a penis.

If you HAD to change your name, what would you change it to? Regina Phalange

Do you believe in the afterlife? Absolutely.

On the topic of abortion, how do you feel about cookies? This is quite possibly the funniest abortion/cookie question on the planet. Magic.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

How to not wait tables...

Chris came into town this week for a visit. Not surprisingly, we went on a tour of a variety of restaurants around the Charlotte area. I was a little proud of myself that I had made reservations at a few places (I'm not really known as the girl that makes decisions), but unfortunately, the reservations that I had made had to be canceled for one reason or another. No worries, though...we made our way to a few of Chris' favorite places.

The first place we had dinner was at Cantina 1511, so I'm not terribly surprised that when we made our way to Wild Wing Cafe in the Epicentre the next night for dinner, there was a distinct fall in the awesomeness of service.

To be fair, I had already had a pretty intense day at work, sustaining myself on Diet Coke, almonds and a venti Starbucks iced coffee throughout the entire day. I have learned that living on a diet of caffeine and protein is probably not the best for keeping a positive outlook on life.

The waiter came over and it became quite apparent that he was a 18 year old kid that was convinced that he was meant to be an actor. He introduced himself by saying that we could call him either "Darnell" (or was it Darrell??), "short guy" something-or-other, or "black kid in the red shirt" since "we were the ones tipping him" (Isn't rule #1 in waiting tables that you don't talk about tipping with the people you are serving? I hate when people pick up the book with the check in it and say, "Do you need change?"....this kid was like 12 steps beyond that...). With a lack of caring what he was rambling about, I let him carry on and counted down the seconds until he would bring us our drinks and take our order.

It was agreed upon that we (Simon, Chris, and I) would order 25 boneless wings and split them. The guys were kind enough to order boneless wings, because I'm not a fan of gnawing meat off a bone. The server wanted to make a stupid joke about every single thing we said. When Chris ordered Ranchilada flavored boneless wings, he told us a story about a woman ordering them before...and then asked, "What flavor did you want?"
Dude. You just told us a stupid story about a woman ordering RANCHILADA wings.

That should have been a clue that our order was not going to be right. When the wings came, they were the good ol' bone-in buffalo wings. When the kid came over to ask us how everything was, I told him that we wanted boneless wings and he disagreed with us!'m pretty sure we said that we wanted boneless wings. I explained that the guys would happily eat bony wings, but I would need a menu to order something that I would eat. He then proceeded to ask me how I eat fish if I don't eat things where I have to eat off of a bone. Dude...I don't eat fish with a bone in it...nor does anyone on the planet pick up a fish and gnaw the fishy part off of tiny fish bones. Idiot.

I had hit my limit on redonkulousness long before this kid started questioning my food choices, but the guys hit their limit when they ordered Firefly vodka and he brought them back a fruit salad, with a side of Firefly vodka. He was so proud that he garnished the drinks himself. There is nothing quite like a rocks glass filled with cherries, orange, lime, and lemon slices.

While the boys were picking chunks of fruit out of their glasses, I asked idiot short black kid in the red shirt (that isn't racist...he told us to call him that, well...not the idiot part) to bring us a cheesecake chimichanga. He asked, "The cheesecake?"
No, dude....the cheesecake chimichanga.

While usually there is a nice glaze of caramel on a cheesecake chimichanga, this guy brought us the dessert sitting in a pool of chocolate syrup and raspberry sauce all over it. Awesome.

When we asked for our check, he told us the story of how he just got a 30 cent tip from another table. He gave us a high five when he was telling us his belief that we wouldn't do that to him. I just have to say...although I'm a big fan of tipping no matter what, he is VERY lucky that Chris paid for the entire meal. There is zero doubt in the world that he was far kinder to the kid than I ever would be.

Other than that horrid experience, I had a great time while Chris was in town. I just won't return to WWC - Epicentre until enough time has elapsed so that kid has either been let go to "explore other employment opportunities" or moved to California to chase his dream of being, well...probably a homeless actor.

Monday, April 18, 2011

The Things I Learned in Texas...

About two weeks ago I received an email from Emily that asked if I would be able to visit her for a weekend in Dallas. Who would say "no" to that?? Within 24 hours, she had sent me my flight information and I was very much looking forward to seeing her. I'm not sure what I expected of Texas; the only time I had ever visited was during a layover in 2001 on my way to the world's classiest city, Cancun.
Here is the list of things that I learned during my travels to the great state of Texas:

-Horse decor is king.

-Don't ever pick the seat in front of an exit row. FAA regulations restrict you from reclining in your seat, but the FAA has no problem with the guy in front of you reclining into your lap.

-I'm pretty sure that my future husband is in the Dallas-Fort Worth metropolitan area. There is a rumor that the second nicest guy on the planet (any man will have a hard time beating Mike Grosz for the title of "Nicest Guy on the Planet", but we've already established that in countless previous blogs) has a single younger brother that is just as kind as his older counterpart (who happens to be Em's boyfriend), but also has wit that would be "just perfect" for me. Even if this fella is a myth and belongs in the land of unicorns, I was impressed by the number of gentlemen that I encountered. And, really...what middle-aged 28 year old doesn't want to bag herself a gentleman that can throw down with some inappropriate humor?

-"Middle-aged 28 year old?," you ask. Oh, yes. A 15 year old referred to me as an old person. I was also told by Em that I should not try to relate to a 17 year old because he can see through my attempt at being cool. In my defense, I was just trying to engage him in conversation and ask where he was going to go to college. Needless to say, that night was not a good one for my psyche and I'm starting to think that I need to start looking into homes for older adults.

-Even though there is a parking spot right by where the shuttle picks you up, don't take it if it is under a tree. After your vacation, you will find that your car has more bird poop on it than there are stars in the sky.

-"Baloop" is a catchphrase used (in any and all situations) by Em's assistant. This morning she insisted that she was dropping me off at the airport as a friend and not because she had to as part of her job...which would lead one to believe that she was really dropping me off at the airport because it was her job to do so. Baloop.

-Aveeno Positively Nourishing Hydrating Body Wash (in the fig + shea butter scent) smells delicious. I suppose this really shouldn't be on my blog as much as it should just be on my shopping list.

-Everything that those Axe commercials promise is true. At one point, Em and I passed around Stephen's (or "Phen" as we affectionately refer to him as) body wash like it was infused with some crazy pheromone that we couldn't refrain from inhaling. I must warn you, though...if you attempt to buy anything in the Axe family of products, please put it in a nondescript container. With product names like "Whatever", "Snake Peel", and "Music" (I swear, I'm not making these up), you'll be hard pressed to convince a girl that you're not a douche when she sees them in your bathroom.

-Although it's breezy, 73 degrees, and you have sunscreen on, you can still get burned if you fall asleep in a lounge chair.

-Everyone is nice. At one point I was riding in a car with Em's boyfriend and his car died at a stoplight. Just randomly...the battery died. Within 2 minutes, two different cars stopped to see if they could help. I'm convinced that both cars that stopped were just leaving the same church service where they were instructed to love thy neighbor...even if that neighbor's car has died and you are wearing your Sunday best.

-You know that feeling you get when you're at a college football game and everyone is cheering for a common cause? I'm convinced that everyone in Texas feels that way every day about their state. It kind of made me want to buy a Texas state flag and tease my hair really high.

-As much as politicians try to push the issue, illegal aliens do not make up 82% of Texas.

-Baseball is huge and dads still go watch their sons play in a game on a Sunday morning (even when their son is 35 years old). Also learned during this baseball game? Disgusting bathroom facilities at ballparks are a nationwide epidemic and even if you're playing in the outfield and think there is no chance of a line drive straight to your nuts, you may be sadly mistaken (as we learned that a pop fly can also cause an issue).

-No matter how wholesome the movie that you're watching in your home theater (btw...Book of Eli still stands up in a second run through), if you leave the TV on Cinemax, you're bound to walk back upstairs after the party is over only to find that there is 140" of porn playing on your wall.

-It's not abnormal to wave at cows. They are whimsical and it is perfectly acceptable to pretend that they are not there to be eaten.

So that's what I learned in 2 days. I can't wait to go back to learn more.
*sigh* I can't deny mind is a sponge and it's thirsty to learn everything that can be learned while on vacation.

Saturday, April 2, 2011

I've got nothing to say...

For some reason, words just aren't coming to me. Maybe it's not that I have nothing to say, just that I have nothing I want to share. an attempt to at least post something, I'm going to give you some of my favorite songs of the moment. Lucky you!

(I promise, I'll try to actually write something soon. I realize that this blog is kind of turning into my MySpace page....filled with music and random videos. And we all know how little anyone visits MySpace these days...)

I'd be interested to see if anyone can name every star in this video. Also, never have I thought that Adam Levine was THAT good looking, but who am I kidding?? The guy is hot.

This girl can belt it...and all while sitting, apparently!

For the life of me, I can't understand this video...but I can't get the song out of my head! Also, I think of Kristen Lervik every time I see the random girl in the Indian headdress (why is there a girl in an Indian headdress?!?!)....I don't know, maybe it's the eyes or something?? And does anyone else think that Two Door Cinema Club kind of sounds like Vampire Weekend? Oh, that's just me?? Okay...nevermind.

So, there you have it. Three songs I don't hate at the moment! What are you listening to?? Anything I need to check out? (Please, please, please don't say "Britney Spears"...)

Monday, February 14, 2011

Not surprised one bit...

Was there any doubt that Ray LaMontagne would give an incredibly painful interview? I love the man...I really do, but if you've ever seen him in concert, you would know that he's really not a "talker".
You don't have to watch all 6+ minutes of this video from the Grammys, I just thought it was funny that the girl interviewer was so awkward with him.
Girl: Where did you travel from today? (*Notice she did say "today")
Ray: Here. I've been here all week. (Hey, he answered the question...)
Girl: So you've been in LA...but where are you usually based?
Ray: The Birkshires.
Girl: Birkshires. I love the top hat. (She has NO CLUE where the Birkshires are...but she does like his impeccable fashion sense with that top hat....)
Ray: Thanks.


Sunday, February 13, 2011


Earlier today I was lying in bed watching a movie before I had to get ready for book club and I heard a door open. I was convinced that someone had just broken into my house, so I slowly walked downstairs with my cell phone in hand (you know, because nothing scares off a burglar/axe murderer like a cellular telephone).
When I got downstairs, I saw that both the front and back door were still dead-bolted, so I figured it was just all in my head (Sarah imagined something!?!? Shocker!!). I then proceeded to shower and get ready for a rousing discussion about the Holocaust at Kelly's house (yeah, that's apparently what we do for fun on a Sunday evening).
As I was walking out the door, I noticed that the shed in my (enclosed, mind you) back patio was open. This concerned me because, well, it is not a door that just accidentally opens. I closed it and went on my merry way to the Lake Wylie area.
After a lovely evening with some pretty spectacular ladies, I managed to let my wild imagination get the best of me. Suddenly I thought that not only was someone trying to steal something out of the shed, but someone was looking for a hiding space to come murder me when I got home.
At this point, I decided to get Julie on the phone (she puts up with my neuroticness) to stay on the phone with me while I searched the house.
I was giving her the play by play of where I was in the house, checking in every closet along the way. At one point, I got to the guest bathroom and saw a stack of magazines from when the "guest bathroom" was actually "Chris' bathroom" and I said something like, "Ohhh...I can probably throw those magazines away..." and went on looking under my bed and in the spare bedrooms for a murderer.
About 5 minutes later, Julie asked, "So...did you finish checking the house or did you get sidetracked with the magazines?"

I'm not sure why I found that so funny. Apparently, my friend believes that I am willing to risk my life to plop on the bathroom floor and read an outdated Details magazine.

Silly girl...she should have known that I would check the rest of the rooms for an escaped prisoner before I read up on men's 2010 fall fashion.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

By Request...My Top Ten

I was having a pretty in depth ping conversation with the one and only Ms. Julie Everett the other day (okay, it really wasn't that in depth) and she mentioned that she would like to see a blog about my top ten all time favorite albums.
Seeing that my mind changes like the weather, I can't make any promises that this list will remain the same for longer than a week. I have come to the conclusion that I should probably make two different top ten lists; one for albums that mean a lot to me and the other for albums that are musically phenomenal. But no...she asked for just one top here we go...

Amos Lee - Supply and Demand
This is an amazing album. Although Sweet Pea was wildly overplayed on that AT&T commercial, you can't deny that the other 13 songs on the album (particularly Careless & Southern Girl) are works of art. I'm trying my darnedest to choose ten different artists for this list, but I could easily say that his self-titled album is also one of my very favorite albums ever, as well.

Ray LaMontagne - Trouble
Let's not kid ourselves...the man can write a dang song. "Try to ignore all this blood on the floor; it's just this heart on my sleeve that's bleeding." It's an amazing lyric...and it's not even from the best song on this album! As with Amos Lee, I could easily add another one of Ray's albums (Til the Sun Turns Black) to this list, but I shall refrain.

Jewel - Spirit
This one is a little embarrassing for me. I definitely don't find it to be a musically genius album (although, I still find Absence of Fear to be a beautiful song), but I was crazy-obsessed with it when I was about 18 years old. I would listen to it on constant rotation driving from Wentzville to St. Louis and back again. There is nothing like a stupid 18 year old girl listening to Jewel while driving to the east side of St. Louis to the only club that would let her in at 18. Ohhhh, how lucky I am that I didn't get murdered.

Ani DiFranco - Little Plastic Castles
Again, this album is one that has nothing to do with the genius of the music, but more to do with what the album represented for me around 2002. Sidenote though...I did quote As Is to Thomas just last week. See? Still stands up.

Third Day - Third Day
There is no voice on this planet like Mac Powell's. I have loved Third Day since they first came on the scene (before they grew to become Christian rock royalty) and here's a fun fact about Sarah, if you didn't already know: this is my favorite band ever. They have yet to put out a less-than-stellar album, but with Love Song coming from this particular album, I have chosen it for my top ten.

Newton Faulkner - Rebuilt By Humans
I kept going back and forth on whether I lean towards Newton's Hand Built By Robots album over his Rebuilt By Humans album. It almost feels like I'm choosing which child I love's impossible. I "chose" Rebuilt By Humans because it's the album that actually was the inspiration for this blog.
Julie: Dang, this Newton CD is GOOD.
Me: Oh, yeah....definitely one of my top ten albums ever.
Julie: Oh, you should blog about that list.
But, much like Ray and Amos...I would probably put both of his albums on this list. Dang. Jewel SO doesn't deserve to be on this list.

The Script - Science & Faith
This one is a little controversial (at least in my own head). It's such a new album that I am somewhat shocked that it has broken into my top ten. Obviously, I don't know if it's going to stand the test of time, but it is absolutely solid enough that I can see it doing so. I was a fan of their first album, but I feel like S&F kicked the crap out it.

Dave Matthews Band - Crash
Come could I not have Dave show up in my top ten? Close contender to favorite DMB album would be Before These Crowded Streets. The whole thing really just brings back floods of memories.

Matt Nathanson - Beneath These Fireworks
This guy can't do wrong in my book. This album beat out Some Mad Hope for the simple fact of Weight Of It All and I Saw. Needless to say, I'm stoked to see what his upcoming album has to offer.

John Mayer - Continuum
There isn't a bad song on this album. Not a one.

Seriously...I'm still angry that I have to leave Jewel on this list. She really did mean a lot to me at one time...

Here are some honorable mentions:
Mat Kearney - City of Black and White
William Fitzsimmons - The Sparrow and the Crow
Tim Brantley - Goldtop Heights
Vampire Weekend - Contra
Tori Amos - Little Earthquakes
Augustana - Can't Love, Can't Hurt
Ben Folds - Ben Folds Live
Cake - Fashion Nugget
Garth Brooks - Greatest Hits (Please don't make fun...I still love it...)
Joshua Radin - Simple Times
Justin Nozuka - You I Wind Land And Sea
Eric Hutchinson - Sounds Like This
Matt Wertz - Everything in Between
Matthew Perryman Jones - Swallow the Sea
Parachute - Losing Sleep
Matchbox 20 - Mad Season
Kings of Leon - Come Around Sundown
Steven Moakler - All the Faint Lights
Jack Johnson - In Between Dreams
Jon McLaughlin - Indiana
Ron Pope - The Bedroom Sessions

I guarantee there are more favorites (when you consider that there are 10,000 songs on my iPod...this is a very, very short list), but it's now 2:30 in the morning and my brain is fried.

So tell me, what am I missing??

Sunday, February 6, 2011

My past life...

I saw this on SNL last night and I started having flashbacks to the last year at my old job. I don't miss it at all.

Can't you just picture this girl saying, " just have to do what you've got to do and if you need to sell your car and take the bus, then that's what you do. It's nothing personal."??

Seriously. It was like this on a daily basis. Long blonde locks and all.

Monday, January 31, 2011

I was laughing so hard I was crying...

I can't decide if this is really, really funny or if I was just in dire need of a good laugh. Nevertheless...shoveling, drifting, shoveling, drifting...

Big thanks to Alison Vavra for putting this on her Facebook page. It certainly made my night!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Pretty good day.

I have been in talks with Margaux lately to hit up a brunch place. We had gone to Presto after work and although it was quite delicious (how can a half price pineapple upside down cake martini NOT be delicious???), Margaux recently pointed out to me that there is nothing better than brunch:
1. Breakfast is offered.
2. Lunch is offered.
3. It is perfectly acceptable (nay, you are encouraged) to drink.

She had the brilliant idea of going to the Terrace Cafe down in Southpark (go ahead and click on the link to check out the yummy stuff they offer) and if anyone hasn't been to this place, you should definitely give it a try. I would venture to say that it was the best bruschetta that I've ever had (and I've had some pretty quality bruschetta).

After I got home, I asked a friend how his day was going. He informed me that a guy in the drive-thru* line at McDonald's had gotten out of his car to yell at the poor (probably 17 year old) cashier. When he yelled out to the guy to get back in his car to move on, the guy threw his sandwich at him. Classic.
After he told me the story, he asked how my day was going. The only thing I could respond with was, "Good. I had brunch with a friend and no one threw a sandwich at me."

*Why does it make me cringe to type the word "thru"? I realize that it's a "legal" misspelling of a word, but really...why did we need to change the spelling of a word?? We already have threw and through...did we really need to add "thru" to the mix? Was it just to confuse 6th graders??? And while I'm on the subject (and I believe I've said this before, so I apologize if you've already heard this particular rant)...why can't greeting cards put "congratulations" in graduation cards and not "conGRADulations"? Do you know how many times I've seen that misspelled?? There is nothing quite like seeing, "Congradulations on the new baby!" on Facebook.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Night at Alton's

When I woke up this morning, there was a text from Thomas asking if I would like to go to Alton's Kitchen in Cornelius for dinner with him, Mike, Beth, and Rob. Since I'm one to never say no to, well...pretty much anything that has to do with red meat, potatoes, and wine...I replied with a resounding yes. Well, in my head I sounded like I was saying "yes" resoundingly...maybe Thomas didn't quite get how stoked I was about it via text; as he always says...texting isn't really the best form of communication when trying to portray feelings.
Anywhoozles, after getting home from work and taking a quick shower, I hopped in the car to go to this new-ish restaurant only to find out that my GPS didn't have it in it's system of global positioningness. At this point, I thought it would just be a quick call to Thomas to find out where exactly it was. I really should have known better than to call a man.
Although Beth would have given me a simple, "It's by the Harris Teeter on Jetton", Thomas started throwing out directions like, "It's on the west side of...." (I can't even remember what he said it was on the west side of as he had lost me at "west")
I believe that after he was informed by Beth that girls' brains don't work like boys' brains, he informed me that it was by the Teet and all was well and good.
The whole thing kind of reminds me of the times that my dad would talk to his friends and my brothers about our hunting land and he would say, "You'll come to a spot in the woods that's like a nipple."
I never understood that, but the boys always seemed to. I guess guys understand directions in terms of north, south, east, west, and nipples.

Seeing that it is Restaurant Week in Charlotte, we all decided to go with the $30 4-course meal. Although, the 4 courses were yummy (is it surprising that the twice baked potato was my favorite part???), the conversation was priceless.

The topics included (but were certainly not limited to):
-My new-found lesbian status at work (apparently, if you're not dating anyone and you have no kids, then you MUST be into the ladies).
-Speed dating (if you want to date Precious, you better sign up for speed dating in Charlotte...and ask Rob to come with you because he's really into that).
-Where to find the best lobster meat (in the tail fin; it's the hardest to get to and there isn't much there for the payoff, but it's the most tender).
-The sleeping arrangements for our weekend cabin trip coming up next month (I'll be rooming with Rob, but Beth said she had no qualms about me rooming with her fiance if I wanted to. I'm going to choose to believe that she wouldn't mind me rooming with Mikey because she just trusts me that's better for my self-esteem).
-Thomas not going to be in town for Beth's birthday (yet again).
-Rob and Mike's 5K coming up (apparently those poor guys have to run half of it, stop in the middle to each eat a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, and then run the second half of the race).
-The proper way to shake someone's hand (don't dominate, don't be weak, don't try to be gangsta, don't touch Rob on the shoulder)

I have to say that overall, Alton's was good, but the friends are what made the night fantastic.

I have a feeling that when I reread this blog in a few days, I'll totally be able to see that I've had two glasses of wine right before writing it.

Monday, January 24, 2011

I'm going to answer your question (as long as your question is one of these questions...)

1. Do you sleep with your closet doors open or closed?
What an odd #1 question. As a matter of fact, I sleep with my closet door open...I actually can't think of the last time I closed the door to my closet.

2. Do you take the shampoos and conditioner bottles from hotel?
Once upon a time I did. Now I really don't see the point...well, unless I'm staying at a nice hotel and they have quality shampoo.

3. Do you sleep with your sheets tucked in or out?
Wait...where is my top sheet? Oh...there it is...on the floor.

4. Have you ever stolen a street sign before?
Nope. I'm no hoodlum.

5. Do you like to use post-it notes?
At work, yes. At home, only the post-it note function on my computer.

6. Do you cut out coupons but then never use them?
Sarah circa 2005 did.

7. Would you rather be attacked by a big bear or a swarm of a bees?
Seeing that a big bear would kill me and a swarm of bees would more than likely just be painful, I'd go with the swarm of bees...and hope that there was a body of water close by that I could jump in.

8. Do you have freckles?
I do. A lot more on my shoulders than on my face.

9. Do you always smile for pictures?
I try to.

10. What is your biggest pet peeve?
Ohhhh...I have so many. It's too hard to choose just one!

11. Do you ever count your steps when you walk?

12. Have you ever peed in the woods?
Unfortunately, yes.

13. What about pooped in the woods?
Thankfully, no.

14. Do you ever dance even if theres no music playing?
Wait...isn't there ALWAYS music playing?

15. Do you chew your pens and pencils?
Gross. No.

16. How many people have you slept with this week?
What kind of question is this?? What kind of hookers fill out this survey?????

17. What size is your bed?
Queen (Is it weird that "Bohemian Rhapsody" just popped in my head??)

18. What is your Song of the week?
All Around Me by the David Crowder Band

19. Is it okay for guys to wear pink?
Absolutely! Please do!

20. Do you still watch cartoons?
Every once in awhile I'll fall asleep to The Family Guy.

21. Whats your least favorite movie?
Star Wars (I've never been able to get through the whole thing)

22. Where would you bury hidden treasure if you had some?
Wouldn't me telling you be completely against the point of having a hidden treasure?

23. What do you drink with dinner?
Depends on what's for dinner. If I'm having dinner out, I'll usually have a glass of red wine. If I'm eating at home, it will probably be a Diet Coke or a glass of milk.

24. What do you dip a chicken nugget in?
Ketchup or nothing.

25. What is your favorite food?
Do you know me at all? Potatoes.

26. What movies could you watch over and over and still love?
Father of the Bride I & II

27. Last person you kissed/kissed you?
You don't want to know.

28. Were you ever a boy/girl scout?
I was a Sparky (****bonus points to anyone...other than my mother....who knows what that is).

29. Would you ever strip or pose nude in a magazine?
Gag me. No.

30. When was the last time you wrote a letter to someone on paper?
I sent Julie a box of randomness and Chris a box of his sheets last week. Both of them got a card...but I'm not sure who was the last person I wrote to was exactly. Let's just pretend that I wrote the cards simultaneously.

31. Can you change the oil on a car?
I can swipe my debit card at Jiffy Lube.

32. Ever gotten a speeding ticket?
Ugh. Yes.

33. Ran out of gas?
With my Grandma Rogers. I was 5 and we had to walk miles and miles (or at least that's what I remember telling my mom when we got home).

34. Favorite kind of sandwich?
Roast beef with horseradish from 131 Main (THANKS FOR LUNCH ON SATURDAY, MIKE!!)

35 Best thing to eat for breakfast?
French toast and hashbrowns or biscuits and gravy. Ohhhh, I want some breakfast.

36. What is your usual bedtime?
Lately it has been around 8pm. Wow...that's sad.

37. Are you lazy?
I try not to be, but I work really hard at work and when I get home...well, yes...I get lazy.

38. When you were a kid, what did you dress up as for Halloween?
I remember being a ballerina once and a clown once, but other than that...I'm not sure.

39. What is your Chinese astrological sign?
I don't know anymore! I'm so lost!!!!

40. How many languages can you speak?
Just the one....Spanish.

41. Do you have any magazine subscriptions?
Too many. Entertainment Weekly, Glamour, Self, Fitness, Women's Health, and...oddly enough...I'm still getting Chris' Details and GQ.

42..Which are better legos or lincoln logs?
Legos...because they remind me of Eggo waffles.

43. Are you stubborn?
I don't think I am, but I guess that's a question better answered by my friends and family.

44. Who is better...Leno or Letterman?
I don't watch either, but I'd have to go with Letterman.

45. Ever watch soap operas?
For a short time (when I worked nights) I indulged in The Bold and the Beautiful and As the World Turns.

46. Afraid of heights?
Not particularly.

47. Sing in the car?
Every day.

48. Dance in the shower?
Sorry for the visual, but yes.

49. Dance in the car?

50. Ever used a gun?

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?
Hmmm...I think it was Christmas 2 years ago.

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy?
Not at all...I think they are magical.

53. Is Christmas stressful?
Not when you make the executive decision not to decorate or buy presents for anyone.

54. Ever eat a pierogi?
I actually have some in my freezer right now! (Guess what mine are filled with...) :)

55. Favorite type of fruit pie?
I just had a pretty fierce lemon meringue pie at Christmas. I'd have to say that it's my new fave.

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?
Anything where I got to travel (I remember telling my grandpa that I wanted to get on planes like he did. He laughed and said something like, "You'll get tired of it.")

57. Do you believe in ghosts?
In some form, yes.

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?
I feel like you've already asked me this question.

59. Take a vitamin daily?
I tried. Failed.

60. Wear slippers?
Not since my older brother stole my cat slippers and shot at them with a shotgun in a (now in hindsight, pretty hilarious) "hunting" video that he made with his best friend, Brad. I was FURIOUS and actually cried about it.

61. Wear a bath robe?
More when I lived with people. Not so much while I live alone.

62. What do you wear to bed? question...

63. First concert?
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.....New Kids On the Block when I was in kindergarten!

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?
Does anyone really choose Kmart from this list?? TARGET.

65. Nike or Adidas?
I've actually really come around to Nike lately. Their clothes are just lasting longer than my Adidas clothes.

66.Cheetos Or Fritos?
Cheetos on their own....Fritos in my chili.

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?

68. Ever hear of the group Tres Bien?
I (very well) haven't.

69. Ever take dance lessons?
Have you seen me dance??? Exactly.

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?
Is it sad that I picture my future spouse traveling a lot for work? Wow...I should SO not be in a relationship right now.

71. Can you curl your tongue?

72. Ever won a spelling bee?
Close. I think I got in the top 5 or something.

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?

74. Own any record albums?
I have never purchased one, but I remember very distinctly breaking out my mom and dad's Alabama album when I was about 5 or 6.

75. Own a record player? was my mom and dad's.

76. Regularly burn incense?
Actually, I think I did at one time. Nag Champa. would probably make me sick these days.

77. Ever been in love?

78. Who would you like to see in concert?
I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see would be Newton Faulkner. He rarely tours America. Anyone up for an overseas trip???

79. What was the last concert you saw?
David Crowder Band

80.Hot tea or cold tea?
Neither tea.

81.Tea or coffee?

82. Sugar or snickerdoodles?

83.Can you swim well?
I can swim, but not well. Beth actually saved my life at the beach....but I really just blame the waves on that one.

84.Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?
I've never been able to master that.

85. Are you patient?
I like to think I am.

86. DJ or band, at a wedding?

87.Ever won a contest?
I'm sure I have...I just can't remember what.

88. Ever have plastic surgery?
I wish.

89. Which are better black or green olives?
Black...I hate green olives.

90.Can you knit or crochet?
There is a difference?

91. Best room for a fireplace?
I would love a fireplace in my bedroom.

92. Do you want to get married?

93. If married, how long have you been married?
This question obviously doesn't apply to me.

94. Who was your HS crush?

95. Do you cry and throw a fit until you get your own way?
I guess if I actually make a decision that I want to go my way (which is quite rare), I suppose I would throw a fit until I got my way. I mean really, people...I never have an opinion!

96. Do you have kids?
Nope. Not that I know of.

97. Do you want kids?
It would be nice if it happened someday, but my life certainly isn't incomplete without one.

98. Whats your favorite color?

99. Do you miss anyone right now?
Absolutely...almost sickeningly so.

100. Did you watch American Idol?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm a Hyper-Hypo

Everyone has their favorite decade of Saturday Night Live.
Mine was definitely the 90's (more specifically, the early to mid 90's). It may have something to do with the fact that my brother would videotape* it on Saturday nights and we would watch it after we got home from church on Sunday.

I found an old episode of SNL on Vh1 Classic today and it reminded me of one of my favorite skits ever. I can't tell you how many times I've quoted, "You're the devil..."

So tell me...what is your favorite SNL quote??

*Ask my mom sometime about the time that my older brother videotaped an episode of SNL over the video of my little brother's first birthday. Ohhhh...I did not envy him.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Sarah's Key

So at 5am yesterday morning I was able to rally for the last day in a 10 day working streak. I threw on my jeans and my tennies (YAY FOR CASUAL FRIDAY!) and was out the door. I had my half of a peanut butter sandwich in one hand and a Diet Coke in the other...I was ready to go. Wait. Go. my car. Where the crap are my car keys???
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

My mind starting spinning out of control.
Who has a spare key?...Everyone who has moved away.
Do I have any of my windows unlocked?...No, I'm a single girl living alone, that would be ridiculous.
How do I break in?...I HAVE NO IDEA! I'M NOT A FELON!!!
Ohhh, it's getting so cold...maybe I should huddle up in the tool shed...but then I may get high from the paint fumes.
Who do I call at 6am?...Well, who is the only person on the planet who wouldn't hold it against me for calling at 6am?...Stupid question.......MIKE!!!!!!!

After trying (almost comically) to open the door with a gift card for about 20 minutes, I decided that it was time to text Mike. Was he still in bed? Of course. But guess who was to my house by 7am?
When I got in his (thankfully, very warm) car, I started furiously texting Emily to ask if she could overnight me a key. Unfortunately, in my panic, I forgot that Texas is in a different time zone. After she woke up, she let me know that she would get the spare key sent to me that very morning.

That night, after Mike left me his car so I could get home from work, I got to Beth and Mike's and found a bathroom filled with every kind of toiletry item that I would ever need. They had tickets to see Billy Elliot, so it was just me and Sammy and a bottle of vino.
Apparently, I had fallen asleep while watching Comedy Central and Sammy woke me up around 11pm. I stumbled my way into bed and around 2am, Sammy was very clearly trying to wake me up to tell me something. Once I woke up, she went into the guest bathroom and started getting into stuff. When I got out of bed to check out what was going on, Sammy took me into the kitchen. I didn't realize until this morning that she was trying to show me that she wanted me to leash her up and take her outside.

My key was to Beth's house by 10am and Beth, Mike, and I headed to 131 Main before they dropped me off at my place.

On a recent episode of Cougar Town, Laurie made up a reason why she had to stay the night at Jules' house because she just wanted to spend time with her friend. Now, in no way did I purposely lock myself out of my house, but in a tiny way...I'm kind of glad I did. It was an awesome reminder as to what kind of friends I have and how much I have to be thankful for.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

Camels can't hold endless amounts of straw.

So lately I feel like I've been running and running (and running and running....), completely unable to keep up with life. This morning, I got in the shower to get ready for work (yes, I's Sunday). I got out, I put on my makeup, I blew my hair dry, and I stood in front of the mirror....something didn't look right. No, it wasn't my pasty white skin (sadly, I haven't been able to get to the tanning bed for awhile); it was my hair. Greaseball.
I had taken a shower and forgot to wash my hair. Like many people, I have a shower routine. I have showered the same way every day for years and this morning I forgot a major step. So, needless to say, I had a two-part shower this morning.

Yesterday, my favorite thing that happened was my trip to the post office.
Once upon a time, I would avoid going to the post office on a Saturday, but who am I kidding? These days, I am completely unable to make it to a post office during the work week. I have had a few things to send to Kansas for awhile and decided that it was time to buckle down and get them in the mail. Along with things to send out, I also had a note from USPS that said that one of my packages that I sent a few months ago was found destroyed in one of their warehouses and if I came in, they would give me a refund of my postage, but they couldn't pay for the items inside since I didn't opt for insurance.
So after standing in a line that was going out the door, I put the boxes on the counter and handed the note to the postlady. She gave a deep sigh and said, "Let me explain something to you. If you send something, sometimes a 70 pound box can be stacked on top of your smaller box and get smashed."
I smiled and said, "It's okay...I've come to grips with what happened. I really don't need an explanations. I just want my refund and I want to send these things to Kansas."
She then sighed again and explained, "Well, I wish I could give you a refund, but since you didn't buy insurance, I can't refund your postage."
I, thinking she was kidding...and then realizing that she was very much NOT kidding, argued, " what you're telling me is that I paid you $8.09 to take something somewhere for me and not only did you destroy the item that I entrusted you with, but you also won't pay me back the money that I paid you to get my item safely from Point A to Point B???"
To which the lovely postwoman replied, "Yes. Would you like to pay for insurance on these items that you're shipping today?"


Friday, January 14, 2011

It's been awhile...

I haven't blogged in awhile, but I figured I'd ease back into it with a photo of my dear, dear friend Ali's NYE photo shoot that he did for some spread in some St. Louis something-or-other. Believe me, he explained it...I just can never remember (which is a shocker, I know).

I have had the same black peacoat for about 12 years or so (lay off me, peacoats never go out of style!) and I've had a note from Ali in my coat pocket for almost as long as I've had the coat. It is on the back of one of those tithing cards that they have in church (yeah, ummm...we used to write notes on the back of those and pass them amongst our friends...) and in Ali's very distant handwriting it says, "I love you. Like that agape type of love that they are talking about."

As I was walking into work this morning, I felt the note in my pocket and...well, felt loved.