Sunday, February 28, 2010

The Boy That I Drew In My Head

Beth dropped a knowledge bomb atop my head about a week ago. It was a lesson that she had learned awhile back and she was kind enough to pass this bit of verbal gold along to me.

Not to get too into everything, but the gist of it was that when you get upset at someone, you have to figure out if you are mad at the person or you're mad at the person that you think they should be in your head. Did the person fail you or did the person that you created fail you? More often than not, it will be that you're upset because the person failed to live up to what you imagined that they could be.

While this piece of advice rang very true, it was cemented in my mind by a song that I kept listening to this week. As I've already written, I've become rather obsessed with Steve Moakler as of late. He has a song called "Boy That You Drew" that I think was written from the perspective of every person that I've ever made up in my mind.

How many times have you wanted to say to someone, "I'm sure to disappoint you; I'm not the boy that you drew in your head."?? Okay, maybe I'm the only one, but how brutal is it to try and fail to live up to others expectations when you did nothing to ask for the role that they have cast you in? How many times have you cast someone in role of "perfect human being"? How many times have you felt let down because you chose that role for someone else?

There is no person that can be everything that you want them to be. It's an impossible burden to put onto someone.

Hopefully, by me being more conscience of this, I will be able to look at my friends and family as they are: flawed, but still unbelievably wonderful people that I am absolutely blessed to have in my life.

(PS...Don't thank me for this egg of knowledge that has just been cracked on your head, thank Beth...and Steve Moakler. I think they may be geniuses.)

Saturday, February 27, 2010

The X Games of Speaking

It's no surprise that there are things that irritate me. I was reminded of this one the other day when I was talking to a co-worker. She sat down across my desk and said, "Everything in my life is horrible!"

The only way I could reply was, "Well, you're skinny and that already makes you worth more to you've got that going for you."

Was that a little rude of me? Probably. Should I have inquired as to WHY everything in her life was horrible? Sure. Of course. To be completely honest, desk at work seems to be the place where everyone comes to sit down and vent. I've made the joke numerous times (yeah, I stick with the same jokes...everyone knows that) that someday I'm going to dress up like Lucy from Peanuts and put a sign out that says "Psychiatric Help" with a tin can to put nickels in. ("Oh! A shiny nickel! Boy, I love the sound of cold, hard cash..."). Okay, I digress...

My problem isn't in the fact that people tell me their problems, I'm entirely okay with that. It's when people can't use their words and they use the "extremes of speech" (I absolutely just made up that expression). To say the phrase, "My life is over!" implies to me that you have just been diagnosed with a deadly disease, not that your dog chewed up your favorite shoes that you were going to wear tonight. When you post on your Facebook status update that "NO ONE will ever love me!", that makes me think that you are a completely unlovable person...not that a doucher that you've been dating for a week hasn't called you back (PS. If he hasn't called you back...he isn't worth it. Believe me.)

Now, I'm not saying that people can't have a bad day. I've had my share of them, but I strive to use my words (Is there any better phrase than someone requesting you to "use your words..."?? I love it.) and express how I truly feel. "My feelings are hurt today" works better for me than "Everyone hates me". Now do I pepper my words with some things that are uber-expressive? Oh, yes...without question! I actually find that somewhat entertaining, but I really do try to refrain from using absolutes (well, unless EVERYONE I know has actually come up to me and said, "I hate you."...but I can promise you that my grandma will never do that...)

While explaining to my friend Jackie my disdain for dramatic absolutes, she put it best (as she always does...I think I want to grow up to be like her...I'll be a lovely combination of Mike Grosz and will be wonderful), "Yeah, when someone says that they are having the worst day of their life, I really doubt that they've taken the time to sit down and go through the files of their life to really account for all of their bad days."

So, how about it? Can we band together and banish extremes? Let's start more extremes* on Facebook status updates. I can promise're not having the worst week EVER...there are a lot more disappointments that will be happening in your life in the future.

*Along with banishing extremes on Facebook status updates, can we also banish cryptic messages without giving explanations? If you are going to post something cryptic, please be prepared and willing to give an answer to the questions that will most certainly be asked. Also, if you say that something in your life is bad on your Facebook and no one comments, that means that you complain too much on your Facebook and NO ONE cares. That's the one extreme that I can promise you.

Friday, February 19, 2010

I deserve a gold medal just for admitting this...

Once upon a time (around the age of 8), I was pretty certain that I was meant to be a figure skater. Had my parents nurtured this belief in any way? Of course not. The only thing that I had done to prove to them that I was meant to be a figure skater was toss one of my mom's throw pillows on a hardwood floor and push myself around while watching the Olympics on our rabbit-earred TV that we had in the front room*, acting as if I were Oksana Baiul.

Around the age of 11, I moved into the biggest kids' bedroom (I remember my dad telling my brothers that "girls need more space". Although I still don't understand this thought, I continue to appreciate the sentiment). In this bigger, better bedroom there was this strange 12"x12" hole in the wall where a 1970's speaker was once housed and instead of patching the hole, it only made sense to cover it up with a poster (which could really be a metaphor for how I deal with my problems now, but that's another blog for another time). My mom didn't believe in having unframed posters hanging up (she still doesn't, you should really check out her basement's like a framed poster shrine), so we were off to Wal-Mart to find a classy poster and a poster frame. Want to take a guess as to the classiest thing I could think of in 1994? Ohhh, know it. Nancy Kerrigan. Dang straight.

I really hope that you appreciate that I searched and searched online to find the exact poster that I had in my room.

My dreams of Olympic gold were dashed when I was told that I wasn't really "built" to be a figure skater (or a gymnast...I was convinced that I could be either if only my parents would fund my natural talent). True, I was taller than my naturally petite gymnast cousins (gosh, they were so cool with their ability to do backflips) and, as my uncle strangely told me once, I was built like a brick shizhouse (yeah, he didn't say "shiz" and I still don't know what that means...), but did that really mean that I couldn't hang with Kristi Yamaguchi? Apparently so.

I can't be 100% certain, but I think that's the time I stopped caring about the Olympics.

So, if you are one of the 5 people that I know that have been sucked into the excitement that is the 2010 Vancouver Olympics...enjoy, because very soon you will completely forget the athlete's name in which you have been wholeheartedly rooting for.

*Did anyone else on this planet have a "front room"? As I was typing that, I realized that I've only heard that term used to describe the country blue and dusty rose room in the house I grew up in. Conveniently, it was located in the front of the house.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

FYI: Smurfs are blue.

I definitely had a top 10 weekend this past weekend. Beth, Mike, Thomas, Wendy, Jen, Todd, Rob, and I went up to a cabin in West Jefferson, NC for four magnificent days of relaxation. Beth had sent out an email about a month ago asking if anyone was interested and I honestly don't think I could say yes fast enough. I was quite literally counting the days down ( can look at my calendar at work if you don't believe me) until I could get out of town.

Here are a few highlights:

The drive up: I met Beth and Wendy at Beth's house at 12:30 and we started to head up. The email from the cabin owners warned that you should not follow your GPS, but you know what I think about that?? Those cabin owners don't know me or my GPS, so if my GPS tells me to go down a street that says "No Outlet", I will follow it darn it! Does it matter that it's a dirt road that has a fence and a guy with a hockey mask and a chainsaw at the end of it? No. Of course not. (Okay, you got me...there wasn't really a guy with hockey mask and a chainsaw at the dead end.) What's sad is that I would have gone further down the road, except I had Beth telling me, " about you turn around and we follow the directions that they actually sent us?"
If I didn't know any better, I would think that Beth was showing off her "direction following skills". So we eventually made it up to the cabin with Wendy only yelling in my ear 3 times, "Let me out, we're going to die!!!"
Very special times, indeed.

Apples: Dang. There were fake apples EVERYWHERE. The decor was apples, apples, old movie stars, apples, little figurines of Aunt Jemima lookin' people, apples, wood signs that say things like "Friends Gather Here", apples, apples, and well...apples. We even played Apples to Apples as a way to really get in the apple spirit (okay...we didn't play it to get in on the love of apples, but we did play it and just so you know...I'm sexy, feminine, and fake).

Wii: Beth (being the planner that she is) had the brilliant idea of bringing her Wii. Every day seemed to have a new "it" game. The first was The Price is Right. Thomas (or "Tom" as he likes to be called) chose the character that looked strangely like that girl in the movie Precious. Just be assured that there was cash and prizes won. It's a little sad that even though the greenhouse was shown three different times, I still couldn't remember the price of it. I probably wouldn't be very good at that game in real life. Games also enjoyed? Wii Bowling (it seems as though the more alcohol I consume, the better I am at that game), Wii Golf (not by me...I don't think I played that once...I'd venture to say that the Wii Golf game was a "boys club"), Wii Tennis (I can't tell you how much I sucked at that), and Wii Baseball (I'm shaking my head at myself right was bad). The last game I remember playing was the Wii Trivia. Can you believe that they asked a question about North Dakota Fighting Sioux hockey and Mikey wasn't around to hear it? (Sadly enough, the cabin had such an echo that he did hear the question from his room and he said the next day that he just laid in his bed and relived the season that the question was referring to. How cute is that? Seriously, boys are just adorable with their vast storage of sports knowledge.)
The puzzle: I'm not sure who the first person to bring out the puzzle was on the first night, but it was a 1000 pieces and may as well have been of cloudless sky. This thing took us until late on the last night in the cabin. I'm actually surprised to say that doing a puzzle is pretty fun, though. Seriously, grab yourself a Bailey's and coffee and sit down to a puzzle with some of your closest pals. It's great stuff.
PS. The puzzle was missing 3 pieces.
Family Feud: Survey says....they don't make games anymore like they did in 1993. There was a Super Nintendo downstairs in the game room and I think I played it every day while at the cabin. Did you know that men consider crying and wearing earrings unmanly? Well, thanks to Super Nintendo Family Feud, now you do...
Hot Tub: I have never been in a hot tub in the winter, but I would venture to say that it is my new favorite season to do a little hot tub action. You don't get too hot because there is snow falling on your head, but you don't get too cold because, well, you're in a hot tub. I honestly had to get out because I was pruney before I had to get out because I was too dehydrated from the heat.
Food: Do you know one of the best things about going on vacation with 7 other people is? You cook one time and you're fed for the rest of vacation. There was absolutely no shortage of delicious food. Have you ever had knoephla soup? Yeah...I didn't think so. It was pretty delish (as was the chili...and the lasagna...and the fajitas...). I'm still thankful for the rice that was in the fridge on Monday morning. Blessed rice...I have never been more thankful for your bland existence in my life.

The drive home: I was in no condition to navigate the roads on Monday morning, so I was thankful that Thomas offered to drive my car (I use the word "offered" quite lightly...I may have told him that it's what I decided and he didn't protest). The roads were definitely not as clear on the way down as they were on the way up, so I'm very, very thankful that he drove. If he hadn't, I'm pretty sure I would have been in a ditch (or still driving home today because I'd be going down the mountain at a snail's pace).

I may have missed a few things, but just know that it was a grand time. If you want to see all of the pictures that I took, here you go...

Super big thanks to Beth for planning it and to everyone else for a very memorable weekend...

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Seriously...I'm a freak.

I posted a few days ago that I've become obsessed with finding new music. I realize that some of these are just new to me, but I can't stop listening to a few of these and I thought I'd let you know in case you wanted to get aboard this gravy train (why did I just call it a "gravy train"?? Gosh, I'm weird)....

Boys Like Girls- One song (Two is Better Than One) of theirs is fantastic...the others make me feel as though I'm a teenager that should possibly be cutting herself in a completely unhealthy manner. Save yourself the other $9 and just download the one song.

Justin Timberlake w/Matt Morris- Yeah, I posted this song (Hallelujah) about a week ago. It's still in constant rotation on my iPod and it's only 99 cents on iTunes with all the proceeds benefiting relief in Haiti. I would venture to say that God would consider it a sin if I burned you a copy of it. You should buy it, because stealing from Haitians just seems wrong.

Lady Antebellum- I was flipping through the channels when their music video for Need You Now came on (or I was possibly just watching the CMT Top 20 Countdown, whatever...don't judge me) and my jaw dropped. I literally put on my shoes while the video was still on and went to Target to buy their album. Yes, it's country...but I will definitely be hitting their live show this summer.

Matt Morris- I had actually forgotten about Matt Morris until he was on the Hope for Haiti telethon. His new album is pretty chill, but I am still loving it. For some reason, Bloodline is speaking to me. There is just something that is just so sad about it (which is always a good pick-me-up).

Michael Buble- Don't laugh. No seriously...don't laugh.

Steve Moakler- I hope you don't discount this guy because he was after Michael Buble. You know those artists that you hear one time and become instantly obsessed with? I had heard one of his songs on Private Practice and downloaded it today. Within 20 minutes, I had downloaded the whole album. Amazing. Please believe me on this.

Stephen Fryrear- I loved Steve Moakler so much that I was actually open to suggestions from iTunes (you know the "You liked Steve Moakler? Try Stephen Fryrear!" thing). Wow...iTunes finally didn't let me down.

Train- I can't believe that I've finally decided to come around to the idea of Train. I've seen their video for Hey, Soul Sister a few times on Top 20 and decided it was worthy of a full CD listen. I'm a little shocked to say that it was worth it. Don't miss This Ain't Goodbye, Brick by Brick, and Marry Me (Can someone say to me "You wear white and I'll wear out the words 'I love you' and 'You're beautiful'" someday...please???)

Peter Gabriel- I realize there is absolutely nothing new about Peter Gabriel, but I have been searching for his cover of The Book of Love (it was on the series finale of Scrubs...well, when Scrubs was going to end...I actually still have the episode on my DVR because I didn't want to forget to find this song). You can't get this song from iTunes unless you download a horrible soundtrack from a Richard Gere movie. So I spent a little bit of time searching for it online and eventually found it. I could probably put this song on repeat for an entire day and still like it. I'm going to let you in on a little secret. If you add an orchestra behind almost any song, I'll probably love it.

Vampire Weekend- This album is just as fun as their first. It makes me want to put on a Lacoste polo shirt and pretend I'm rich.

Seeing that my "I must find new music!" mood doesn't seem to be letting up, I may have a new list for you next week. I'm just hoping that I'll be able to take a deep breath for a hot minute and soak in this greatness soon...

Thursday, February 4, 2010

Concerts are a drug.

I've been a little obsessed lately with music (more so than usual) and it's gotten me in the mood to find shows to go to.

While searching online I found out that one of my favorites (Amos Lee) is coming to July...opening for Dave Matthews.

Can I go ahead and say this? WHAT THE CRAP!?!?!?!??

I like Dave Matthews. Good guy. Good music. Horrible ticket prices. It is not uncommon for his tickets for lawn seats to be over $50 now. I believe I uttered the words last year, "Yeah...I'm done with Dave shows."
Little did I know that one of my favorite singers would actually be opening for him. And sure...I'm happy for Amos. He deserves to have roughly 73,000 people (67% of them stoned out of their mind) discover him.

I just have to say that my soul may die a little bit if people talk over his music (like people tend to do to every opening act in history).

And because I've been posting YouTube videos non-stop as of late, here's another one. Amos...the last time he was in Charlotte. I believe Chris, Julie, Kaley, and I paid something like $35 for VIP tickets. Ohhhh...those were the good ol' days...

Hmmm...maybe I should do a little roadtrippin' to Greenville to see him at the end of March. Those tickets are only $18...with taxes and fees actually included (Screw you Ticketmaster, with your insanely high "service fees"! What services do you actually provide, anyways???)

Monday, February 1, 2010

Wow...I haven't done one of these things in ages...

I was sent a survey at work the other day and I thought, "Dang...once upon a time I loved doing these things. Of course, that was back in the day of Myspace and that place is like a deserted wasteland these days. How sad for Myspace. Hmmm...I wonder if I ever put my profile on private? That would be a little creepy to leave it so psychos can look at all of my 5 year old pictures. Oh, well." (I didn't actually think all of that, but you get the picture...)

So...while there is crappy TV happening between How I Met Your Mother and The Big Bang Theory, I shall go survey crazy. Enjoy! (...or don't...I don't really care...)

How many of your facebook friends have you met in person? I have 217 friends and I've met 215 of them in person. The other two I haven't met due to the restraining order they have against me.

How many would you like to meet? I'd only actually like to be around 20 of them. The rest are kind of take-em-or-leave-em....
(Oh, and if you're worried that I'm talking about you, I'm's the other people I don't care about...I really do care about you. You're special.)

Got any tattoos? Just the one super-gangsta white tattoo on my ankle. It is intense.

Are lefties smarter than righties? Depends on who you ask. I can only think of two lefties off the top of my head (my dad and Chris). the spirit of love and admiration, sure...lefties are way smarter (as long as they do everything with their left hand).

Do you go for "Bad Boys"? Not at all.

Best pet to have, Cats or Dogs? I want a dog, but cats are a zillion times easier. Seriously, I left Gary for 2 weeks and he was only slightly starving and dehydrated when I came back.

Is George W. Bush really an idiot? If the President is an idiot, what does that make the country that made him the President? (Please don't debate me on's more food for thought...)

Has South Park ever offended you? Nothing offends me unless you bring religion into it. So...yes, I'm sure it has.

Is there an alcoholic in your family? I have 329 family members (roughly). I'm going to guess that at least one of them is an alcoholic.

Have you ever returned a gift you got to the store? Only if it sucked.

What do you usually do when you get home? Rock back and forth and cry in the corner.

If you had $1,000,000 what would you do with it? Stick it under my mattress.

How often do you text? Enough. Definitely enough.

Do you like to read? I know how to and I do it fairly often.

What kind of computer do you have? Mac Powerbook G4. I never thought that I would feel like my computer was old, but when I went to get something fixed at Best Buy, the stupid Geek Squad guy said, "Yeah...we don't service those."

What's your favorite food? Any form of potato. Dang. I really love potatoes. (If you didn't know this about me, then I don't know you at all...)

What kind of iPod do you have, and what color is it? Ohhh...this is sad. I have the iPod from when the Photo iPod was new. It's 60G, white, and about half full. I seriously thought I would have filled it by now. I definitely haven't.

How many pets do you have? Just the Gar-meister. He's good people.

What's your favorite guys' name? Yours. (If you're a guy.)

What's your favorite girls' name? Yours. (If you're a gal.)

Do you have your own digital camera? My VERY own?!?! Yes. As a matter of fact, I do. (I love how it's obvious that these questions were written for a 13 year old.)

What's your favorite place to go shopping? Depends on what I'm shopping for. Harris Teeter was pretty exciting this afternoon. (Bagged salad for $1.97? HOLLLLAAAA!!!)

Who was the last person to call you? Not you.

What's your favorite season? Winter. Winter just doesn't get enough love.

Have you ever seen a tornado? Who hasn't?

What's the worst thing you've been through in your life? Well, let's just rehash THAT, why don't we?

Which do you prefer? Little brother or little sister? Older brother or older sister? I don't play favorites.

What's your favorite kind of music? A weepy type of guy playing a guitar.

How old are you? 26 (well, at least for the next 23 days)

Have you ever told any of your friends your deepest secrets? Well, I can pretty much guarantee that there is not one person on this planet that knows every one of my secrets.

Who do you hate the most? What an odd and angry question that is...

Do you regret ever meeting someone? Absolutely.

How long are you on the phone on average per day? Depends on if I'm working.

Raking leaves or mowing the grass? Mowing the grass...although I haven't done that in a long time.

What is currently your favorite song? Bloodline by Matt Morris

What age do you think it's appropriate to have children? If you can support them and don't suck at life, have at it.