Sunday, January 31, 2010

No one is asking you to actually love me...

How's that for a seriously dramatic title to a blog? Sometimes I just can't help but coat on a thick layer of drama to's kinda what I do.

Okay...that's not the point to this bloggity blog. I'm going to ask this one time on here (well, unless I can't think of something else to write about in a couple months and then I might bring it up one more time...but don't count on that, I can't make any promises, because the creative juices are flowin' like crazy, son...). Okay...back to my point...
Please pretend that you love me and donate to ALS. It doesn't have to be a lot...five bucks would do. Heck, one dollar would do (but you really don't want to just donate a dollar, because then you'd look cheap and who wants to look cheap*??).

Thomas has donated (although, I don't feel particularly loved by him since he donated to everyone...he's all generous like that), Julie has donated (even without me asking her...that was crazy awesome) and Ali has donated (I'm going to go ahead and say that one was out of left field and I felt completely cyber loved from 800 miles away). So if your name isn't Thomas, Julie, or Ali, then I'm talking to you.

You see, I've pledged to raise $210. Why $210? I have no idea, but stay with me here. I've raised $80, which means that I have $130 more to go. If everyone donates $5, then I only need 26 people to donate and I will have reached my goal. As I type that out, I'm realizing now that I may be screwed since there aren't even 26 people who read this blog. Dang.

Why ALS, you ask? ( ask so many questions...seriously...)
It's best that you check out Thomas' page for that answer:

So if you're able to do so, please donate a couple bucks. In the long scheme of things, buying my undying love is pretty cheap.
Here's my page:

Thomas and his friend Sean Younger

*Go ahead and look cheap. A little bit of love is a heckuvalot better than zero love at all.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

How did James Morrison get inside my head??

Do you ever hear a song and think, "Dang...that's exactly how I feel at this moment."?

I have heard this song 100 times before and when it came on last night on my way to the gym, it suddenly took all new meaning.

I can't get it out of my head now...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Death to Smiley.

I have an addiction. Am I proud of this fact? Of course not.
Do I need to face it head on? Absolutely.
Does this addiction have anything to do with the fact that I type out questions and then immediately answer them? No. Well, yes...but that's not what I'm dealing with today.

The other day, Thomas called me out on my overuse of emoticons. I do realize that I use them entirely too much, but sometimes I just can't stop my fingers from typing them at the end of a sarcastic sentence (and as everyone knows, I am sarcastic roughly 94% of the time). I explained to T that deleting an emoticon after it is typed is on the same level of killing a baby. He then called me dramatic. Where did THAT come from??

Some would say that I should probably go to therapy and search for the reason that I am so in love with the colon (sometimes semi-colon) and parenthesis (sometimes uppercase "d"). The person that would be most wholeheartedly on board the "Sarah needs therapy" train would probably be Jackie, but that's because she believes that everyone needs a little mental tune-up every once in awhile. So word to the wise...don't ever take offense if Jackie says to you, "You need therapy."
She thinks that everyone does.

Back to my point: As Thomas has proclaimed that he will stop using exclamation points (FYI...he was addicted to those for a hot minute and I honestly thought it was someone messing with me from his phone since I had never seen him exclaim so much stuff in my life), I shall try my darnedest to stop my addiction to the smiley. Will I fail every once in awhile? Absolutely. Although, I do promise that I will not type out a different variety of smiley after every sentence or paragraph anymore.

Well, at least for the next week. (insert smiley here)

Sunday, January 24, 2010


Sorry, Jeff Buckley...Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris just showed how it's done.

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Olde Tyme Baseball

Yes...I totally spelled "old" and "time" like that for Julie. There you go, J.

I realize that some people are not with Coco, but a friend of mine posted this to his Facebook and I laughed pretty hard. Sooo....there you go.

Baseball Sketch

Kim | MySpace Video

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Dear Mark McGwire,

Did you seriously just accept the position of hitting coach for the Cardinals and then turn around and admit steroid use?? I hope Jack Buck spits on you from heaven.


PS. When you hugged Roger Maris' family after your 62nd home run, I hope you didn't burn them with your leathery devil skin.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

Is it just me or...

...does Kate Gosselin have a mullet???

One more question: Why do I care???

Okay. I don't REALLY care, it's just that the moment I saw the cover of People magazine I honestly thought it was a joke. Good one, People magazine, good one...

Saturday, January 9, 2010

Group Power

Last night I went with a variety of people to Tyber Creek Pub for some "Chris' BFF Bryan is in town from Wichita and we have to show him that Charlotte is the bee's knees" festivities.

There were a few great moments of the night including Bryan ordering a tonic and a water...thus resulting in the bartender handing him a glass of water and a glass of tonic water (I think he meant to order the tonic with vodka or something...or maybe he just doesn't realize that in Charlotte we don't know Kansas' super-secret bartending language). Nevertheless, Chris made him step aside and showed him how the new-fangled thing called "drink orderin'" is done in the south.

I was about 3 and a half drinks in when Beth said, "So...after our run tomorrow morning, we're going to do a group power class."
It was definitely more of a statement than a question.

Fast forward to this morning:
I managed to wake up, run a few errands, and get to the gym. The 5K training was brutal (for me, at least...Beth and Mikey were definitely on the ball, probably because they left the bar at an appropriate time the night before) and Beth chipperly says, " power after this?? I promise, you'll feel better after it."

Little did Beth know that this hour long class was being led by a lady that sounded so familiar that I couldn't quite put my finger on it....until 30 minutes into the class when I realized she sounded exactly like Amy Poehler did when she did the Kaitlin character on SNL a few years ago. She was almost as spaztic, too ("Oh! Does anyone know how to work an iPod?" and "Does anyone know the choreography for this routine?" is just a sampling of her awesomeness).

(Here is a classic Kaitlin sketch if you want to get a taste of what we were dealing with today)

Two things I noticed while group powering:

1. The one guy in the class is a very, very smart man. What guy wouldn't want to be perfectly positioned in 3rd row center? Only the really group power-y chicks get in the first two rows, so it only makes sense that a guy would choose to be behind them, right?

2. The pregnant chick straight up owned us ("us" as in "the entire class"). I have a feeling that she's going to be that kind of mom.

I'm going to go ahead and throw out there that I'm glad that the Group Power class instructor changes weekly. Sorry, blonde instructor lady who counts very oddly, but I prefer someone that knows how to use an iPod.

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Fix Me.

So it's the beginning of the year.'s the beginning of a new decade. I have been asked roughly 732 times what my New Year's resolution is going to be. It actually hadn't occurred to me to have a resolution until the first person asked me (I won't name any names here, ahem...Beth). I was tempted to answer with an awesomely smart-arse answer like, "I want to figure out a way to rock glitter leggings. Yes, glitter leggings....maybe with those ankle bootie shoes that are half boot/half high heeled shoe/all fad."

In reality, it got me thinking. What SHOULD my resolution be?

I am going to be 100% honest (well, honestly sarcastic) here and say that since I was old enough to stand on a scale and read magazines about how "normal" girls weigh 97 pounds, it's been my resolution to lose 50 pounds in a year...every year since the age of 14. Have I ever succeeded in my goal? Of course not. I never actually had a plan. I just put it out there in the world that I was going to be a slip of a gal and I believed with my whole heart that the world would somehow answer back with a 50 pound weight loss overnight.

I want this year to be different. Not in terms of weight loss. I am refusing to make a resolution. I'm making goals (which actually by definition could mean "resolution", but I'm refusing to call them "resolutions"...keep up with me, please). I'm quite sure you don't care what these goals are, but you'll get to read about a few of them now (unless you click out of this blog...which is fine with me. In the words of Bobby's your prerogative.)

Run a 5K - Even typing that is scary to me. I remember being in the 9th grade and being forced by a drill sergeant of a woman to complete 1 mile in under 15 minutes. Okay, that is exaggerating a little bit. The "drill sergeant" was actually quite nice and she didn't make me do it in under 15 minutes because I had a "heart condition" (quick word of advice to any 9th graders out there being forced to run...always blame it on a heart condition and never on asthma. Gym teachers laugh at asthma, but they will never mess with a heart condition. Something about wanting to keep their jobs and not get sued or something...).

This is actually supposed to be a goal on the way to a much larger goal of a half marathon in May. THAT is a laughable goal to me, but we'll see how the 5K thing goes first. A more manageable goal is that the 5K is a stop on the way to my next goal of...

The Mud Run- I posted the mud run to this very blog a few months ago. I have 2 people that will definitely do it with me, so if we find one more's on. I'm just thanking sweet baby Jesus that I have 9 more months to prepare for that one.

Be Like Mike- There is not a person on this earth that can say a bad thing about Mike Grosz. To be honest with you, if you did...I'd have to muster every bit of strength that I have and beat you up. I think he has won the Nicest Guy in the World Award for 9 years running. I said to Jackie the other day that I wanted to be more like Mike...I would love for people to have not one bad thing that they could say about me. She laughed at me (when the people that know you the best laugh at the statement "I want to be a nicer person.", it's a bad sign...). She responded with, "Sarah, no one is asking you to be like anybody else, they just want you to be a better you." Touche, Jackie...touche. Which brings me to my next goal of...

Be Wise- It is well known that I work next to a very wise person every day. She's quiet and unassuming and then she'll drop a knowledge bomb on your butt so fast that you'll need a few days to recover. I know that being wise isn't something that can be learned, but I can learn to make wiser decisions. I need to realize there are people who are worth fighting for and there are people who aren't worth the effort. I need to realize that being malnourished isn't always about a lack of food. It is always easier to look at someone else's life and tell them, "It's so easy, just (fillintheblankwithwhatiseasyforyoubutreallyreallyhardforthepersonyou'retalkingto)." The hard part is being able to look at your own life, recognize what you need to change and finding the courage to change it. I want to be wise enough to know what I need to change.

I can guarantee that I won't succeed at every one of my goals this year, but I can guarantee that I will be a better person today than I was yesterday and I'll be a better person in two weeks than I am right now.

Oh, and I'd like to lose 50 pounds this year.

(It wouldn't be a new year without a weight loss resolution. There, you can reward my dedication to proclaiming weight loss as my goal with a 50lb weight loss over night. Thanks. You're swell.)