Dear Creepy Guy That Keeps Staring At Me In the Waiting Room,
Although you are 47 (and look roughly 62) and I am usually a fan of an older gentleman, I am not a fan of you. Let me count the reasons:
1. You're cross-eyed. And not in the fun kind of way.
2. Your hair is longer than mine. And my hair seems to be getting pretty long as of late. (Note to self: Get a haircut.)
3. You are wearing a strange hybrid of bandana, hat, and Zumba pants on top of your head.
4. You said that you "enjoy the scenery" when you were referring to looking at me. I only find that flattering when I'm about 3 glasses of wine in.
5. You are wearing the Nascar Digger rodent shirt that they feature on Fox during races. Not only is this shirt existing on your body, but you also have it tucked into your high-waisted man jeans in an extreme sort of fashion. It's so tight, that I swear I can see your nips through it.
There are a few more reasons, but I feel that I should save those for the next time you come in and stare at me. And just so you know, while getting male attention usually does help with my self-esteem, your attention seems to have the opposite effect.
Thank you so much,
PS. If you actually come in again, I'm not afraid to get a restraining order against you.