Saturday, April 10, 2010

The last person on my list to get advice from...

I read today that Kate Gosselin is going to be starring in a new show called Twist of Kate (let me first say that I use the word "starring" quite lightly). The premise of the show is that she will be traveling around the country, helping real families with their everyday challenges.

I'm just going to let that seep into your skin for a moment.

1. Where in her life is she proving that she should be an advice giver? Is it more of a "don't be like me" scenario?
2. Who is taking care of her kids?
3. Why is no one seeming to understand that she is the devil's sidekick?
4. Who would actually invite her into their home?
5. What in her life made her so mean?
6. What kind of challenges are we talking about? The inability to pick an effective hairstyle?
7. WHY?!?!?!?!?!?! And...would anyone actually watch??? Since the kids aren't allowed to be on the show (and the only reason I watched in the first place was the shorty with glasses, Aaden, was just so darn adorable), does anyone want to watch the nag? No. Not a person on this planet...except for maybe Jon's lawyers to prove that she remains a horrible mother.

If I could pick any reality star to come help with my "everyday challenges", I would absolutely pick Michelle Duggar. Her organizational skills are mad awesome (and she has a soothing voice...who doesn't like a soothing voice???)


Alison said...

1. She is good at advising women on how to be raging bitches.
2. The "handlers" are taking care of her kids. She's doing all of this FOR THE KIDS--jeez!
3. Jon knows she's the devil.
4. I would invite her to my beat her senseless.
5. Her veneers, tanning, bad haircuts, and pushing 8 kids outta her vagina (or getting 8 kids pulled out of her stomach) made her mean.
6. Challenges include how find creative ways to yell at and belittle your husband daily (hourly?), dressing your children alike, and how to spend time with your kids between dance rehearsal, tanning, 20-hour hair extension appointments, media shit, etc...
7. People will watch...sadly it;s how the world works. They will watch because some think she still IS a good mother.

saucybellum said...

Alison, you are too much. Thank you for answering every single one of my questions. :)