When you can't think of your own words...

Tuesday can't come fast enough...

Is anyone else having a baby aneurysm over Mumford and Sons' new album coming out on Tuesday?



Also, from a concert bucket list perspective -
I WILL be seeing a show at Red Rocks near Denver at some point in my life. How incredible is this venue!?!?

W.E.D.N.E.S.D.A.Y.

What does your mom do?
Continues to be awesome.

 If you were a giant mega monster what city would you rampage?
Detroit. I feel like those people could probably use a redo of the city and I'm sure the insurance money would really help them out.

Did you ever have a treehouse as a kid?
No. My parents didn't love me.

Do you plan to vote in the next election?
Nope. It goes against my policy of "not caring".

When you buy something new do you get a desire to use/play with it even when they don't have any physical application yet?
I have absolutely no clue what this question is asking.

Did you understand the Matrix Trilogy?
If I didn't just get completely lost on the previous question, I would absolutely answer this question, "I've never seen the Matrix trilogy, but I have no doubt that I could figure it out." Unfortunately, the previous question has me questioning how smart I am. So sad.

If you were stinking rich, would you only go to places other rich people went?
Heck no! I'd go only to the places that this rich person wanted to go.

Rebound relationships, good or bad?
They are fine as long as your heart doesn't get too attached.

Teenage parents, good bad or indifferent?
Horrible! Wait...are these 19 year old parents that are married?? That's fine. If they are 15 and got knocked up from slutting around, that is bad. If they are 19 and...well...don't want to figure life out first, fine by me!

Democracy, good or bad?
Good...as long as everyone agrees with me!

An Ode to Dinner Club

Disclaimer:
This is absolutely sappy and bordering on embarrassing. Please proceed at your own risk.

I wanted to take a moment to write about a group of friends that I have managed to develop a mad crush on since May of 2011.
Little did I know that when I moved into Human Resources that I would meet four women that would absolutely change my life. When I was first brought over to HR, I felt as though I had to hunker down, make no friends, and take no prisoners. Slightly dramatic? Possibly. The truth? Totally.

Throughout my first few months, I was informed by Callie who was "cool". I realize that sounds like middle school, but if you don't work for a large corporation, you may not know that there are a few moles within any organization (What is that you say? Did Sarah just reference a reality television show from 2001? Why yes...yes I did).

Every day I would be chained to my desk while these angels would stop by to see what I was up to (the answer would never change from "work"). They brought sunlight to even the gloomiest of situations. Even though three of the five of us had moved onto another organization, we have still managed to see each other on a monthly basis.

We have had theme nights, we have gone on vacation, had a zillion laughs to the point of throwing up (yeah, that has happened), a few tears (because what are friends if you can't cry with them) and we have had many (many) bottles of wine.

Dinner Club at Vivace

Courtney, Callie, Sarah, me, and Colleen

I can't tell you how thankful I am for these women. These beautiful, insane, life-long friends that I never knew were coming into my life until God tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Hey, guess what gift I have for you..."

My one political statement of the year.

I'm not into talking about politics. No. Seriously, I'm not.

I am a firm believer in the fact that everyone is entitled to their own opinion and while I'm working on myself, I have no right to work on your self (I'm not sure if that is grammatically correct, but I like the way it sounds).

This whole Chick-Fil-A thing has me irked, though. I think this ecard has put it best...

Okay, I hear your argument. If you're for gay marriage, you don't want someone that serves you waffle fries to tell you that you're wrong.

But let's think about this...
If that is a your argument, you should probably move out of your state if they don't recognize your beliefs and you should probably not patronize companies that give money to the political party that is opposed to your political party. Also, if you are banking customer, you're pretty much screwed because many banks give money to BOTH political parties. (AHHH! What do you do in THAT situation?!?!)

My point:
Eat your chicken and waffle fries, because they are delicious.
Shop at JCPenney and watch Ellen, because JCP has fair and square deals (is that their motto now?) and Ellen is hysterical.
I'll work on me and you work on you...and please don't tell me what I "should" or "should not" do based on your beliefs.

Check out my discovery!

I have been known to not pay attention to the plot of a TV show or movie because I'm trying to figure out who the artist is that is singing the song in the background.

Wait...can I just take a moment to say that Shazam is the greatest app of all time and absolutely worth having an iPhone for?? Okay. Thanks - I just had to get that off my chest.

So, yeah...I have been known to hear a song and get fixated on it. It actually happened twice today...once during Shallow Hal (don't judge me...I was too lazy to change the channel after The Soup). It sounded like a Hootie and the Blowfish song that I didn't even know existed. Turns out it was Darius Rucker singing This Is My World (so, yes, it was pretty much Hootie singing a song that I didn't know existed).

The second time was while I was half-watching the Olympic gymnastics coverage. They played this song during a gymnastics montage and I thought, "I think I've just discovered a new favorite artist! Who is this guy?! Man...I can't wait to introduce him to people...!!"

I hit Shazam and this is what it gave me...


Soooooooooooo yeaaaahhhh...my "big discovery" was the freaking American Idol winner that I had never actually heard before.

Nice find, Sarah...nice find...

It doesn't matter who you are...

I love the fact that these celebrities can take the crap that is said about them with a grain of salt. Well, except for Kristen Stewart. That girl is a slutbag. Who cheats on Robert Pattinson? <--(See what I did there? I was as ridiculous as every other person that made fun of someone that they didn't actually know in real life)

Humor Fail.

So about a month and a half ago I received an email from a coworker of mine asking these questions:

1.      Where are you from?

2.      Tells us about your family (e.g. married, engaged, children)

3.      How long have you been working here?

4.      What hobbies, sports, or other leisure time activities do you enjoy most?

5.      What do you want to be doing ten years from now?

6.      What is the best piece of advice you have ever received?

The intention was for her to put together a "getting to know you" directory for our entire team.

Naturally, I couldn't give straightforward/boring answers to these questions, so I responded with...

1. From St. Louis, MO. Well, a farm town outside of St. Louis, MO…
2. Single with no kids, sooo…you can either view me as a “spinster” or a “free spirit”. I’m fine with either.
3. I started in Home Loans in December 2010 and moved over to Staffing in May 2011.
4. The other day I went to see a friend of mine play softball. There was a foul ball and I ran after it. When a guy on his team asked me to throw the ball over the fence to him, I tried…and didn’t even clear the fence. He laughed and said, “I guess that’s why you’re watching and not playing?” So, to answer your question – not a soul on the planet would consider me “sporty”. I do enjoy reading, though!
5. I hope I’m just as happy as I am now. I generally don’t like the dreams for myself to be dependent on another human being, but whatever happens – I hope I’m happy.
6. “Don’t regret growing older, it is a privilege denied to many.” Appropriately, this was on a Snapple lid.  

So after I sent the answers, I completely forgot about it until the team call yesterday when a teammate with a very monotone voice shared this...

I know, I know - what I had written was entirely too long and it had to be whittled down to fit on a PowerPoint slide, but seriously!?!? I am pretty sure this is how politicians and celebrities feel when their words are taken out of context. I was honestly sitting there with wide eyes saying, "I said that crap!?! Seriously? 'A free spirit'? That doesn't sound like me at all!"

I want to scream into the phone, "MY WORDS HAVE BEEN TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT!!!"

My thoughts were confirmed when I got a few pings from teammates that said, "Wow, that doesn't sound like you at all!"

At least my friends at work know that I'm not a tree-hugging free spirit - unfortunately, my boss probably doesn't realize it.

It's Wednesday Already

Do you get seasick?
I sure hope not. I guess we'll find out in September.

If you discovered a new species of dinosaur what would you call it?
Dinosaur 2.0

Do you own a paddling pool?
I don't know what that is, so I'm going to go with "no".

What do you consider is the most important piece of furniture in a house?
Bed

What do you consider is the most important appliance in a house?
Refrigerator

Which Celebrity do you find the most annoying?
Hmmm...Jennifer Lopez makes me cringe.

Who was better, Flipper, Lassie or Skippy?
I'm not sure who Skippy is - so I'm going with Lassie

If someone's child was being an annoying little runt would you go tell them off or do something about it?
It absolutely depends on if I've been put in charge of them.

Do you believe in karma?
To a certain extent.

Do you believe in revenge?
Nah - life is too short.

Do you believe in fairies?
Nada.

Do you believe in a God?
Absolutely

What's the worst show on television?
About 95% of reality TV ties for last place.

My 5th Favorite Day of the Week

Have you ever been to an Art gallery?
I was actually thinking about this yesterday. After my family, friends, and Major League Baseball, the thing I miss about St. Louis is the number of free (or super cheap) activities to do - the Art Museum being one of them. I grew up thinking that every zoo, museum, and garden was free...apparently they are not.

Do you shout out the answers at the TV whilst watching quiz shows?
What is yes?

Are you a valuable asset on a Pub Quiz team?
I like to pretend that I am, but the last time I attended music trivia night, Chris and Margaux killed it.

Do you get over-involved with TV or movie plots at times?
I'm not 100% sure where the line is from "involved" to "over-involved". I feel like I get involved at an appropriate level.

Do you own any inflatable furniture?
Does an inflatable mattress count?

Do you have a piggy bank?
It's this adorable little thing called a "savings account". It's kind of like a virtual piggy bank.

Do you have popcorn with a movie?
Not very often. I guess if someone buys some and passes it down.

Have you ever built an igloo?
I can't say that I have.

Can you play the harmonica?
No.

Have you ever made a ball of twine or rubberbands?
Yes.

If given the option of having a flake in your ice cream do you always take it?
What is a flake? No - seriously, does anyone know what a flake is??

Really? 50 Cent!?

People close to me know that lately I've been listening to a ton of sermons from Elevation Church. It's probably starting to get on the nerves of many of my friends/coworkers/random people on the street because I am constantly quoting something that Pastor Steven said (the man has a ton of great points).

Today I was watching the 50 Cent/Oprah interview that I had DVR'd from Oprah's Next Chapter. Yes. I DVR Oprah. Please don't judge me.

I almost deleted the interview without even watching it, but then figured "Hey...why not?"

Who knew that I would hear one of the most profound points on worrying that I've ever heard...FROM 50 CENT!!?!?



So there you have it, friends. Pray OR worry - you can't do both.

Wednesdays, oh, Wednesdays...

What's your favorite Movie quote?
This is entirely too difficult of a question - I like to quote movies in response to situations, but I hardly have a favorite. I guess I lean towards "I'm in a glass case of emotion" and "Are you too good for your HOME!?!?!?"

Who would win in a fight - Chuck Norris or Jack Bauer?
What a stupid question! Chuck Norris, of course! Jack Bauer is a freakin' fictional character...so really this question is asking if Chuck Norris could beat up Kiefer Sutherland.

Do you have much of an ego?
Nope. Although, I'm working very hard on growing one.

Do you wear sunglasses indoors to look cool or stylish?
To look cool or stylish? No. To prove that I'm lazy and don't want to take them off my face? Sometimes.

Are you a hat person?
I wish. I have a huge head.

What's your favorite supermarket chain?
I never get to go there, but if we're playing faves - it would probably be The Fresh Market.

What's your favorite fast food chain?
I love that Chili's just popped into my head. That's not even a fast food restaurant. Man....what would be my favorite fast food chain?? OH! Chick-fil-A! The most Christian of all fast food chains!

What's your first thought upon waking up?
It varies between "What time is it?" and "I have to pee."

What animal would you most like to have as a pet?
I don't want a pet because I'm a heartless human being.

What's your favorite type of tree?
Oak. Mainly because it's Oprah's favorite tree.

If you could bankrupt one person or company who would it be?
Why would anyone wish ill-will on a person or a company? That is horrible! Can't we all just get along?

Who's your favorite celeb with the same first name or surname as you?
Dude. Mr. Rogers! He was awesome!

Pinterest is a jerk (and/or awesome).

Like every other female on the planet, I have become obsessed with Pinterest.
Need a new recipe? Pinterest has you covered.
Need to update your wardrobe? Pinterest has got you.
Need to plan a wedding for 250 guests in the next week and make sure you have the most creative photography?? PINTEREST!

To bridge my Pinterest account and my blog, I've decided to post one of my favorite quotes that I've seen on the website. I'll probably send it to my team at work to fool them into thinking that I bleed inspirational warm-fuzzies...

And for the record...
What I did today was super important. It included a ton of reading and zero percent of it was spent showering. Yes. I'm gross. Whatever.

Home

Have you ever read something and thought, "That is exactly how I feel. Like, I didn't even realize that I was feeling anything because I'm generally a heartless human being, but this random author just put into words exactly how I've been feeling for the past eight years"??

That happened today - which also happens to be eight years to the day of the passing of my pops.

I won't mention the name of the book here because it's a hilariously inappropriate book and if someone Googled her name, I would hate for anyone to accidentally find a dead-dad post when they were searching for a book that has a chapter entitled "Thanks for the Zombies, Jesus." If you must know which book I'm talking about, you can - you know - ask me.

The quote came out of nowhere. A surprisingly heartfelt chapter between her wacky dad's taxidermy stories and how she had to learn how to impregnate a cow as part of her high school's agriculture class (and I thought I grew up in a small town).

It's funny how you can be taken off guard by the most unlikely sources...

"Have you ever been homesick for someplace that doesn't exist anymore? Someplace that only exists in your mind?"

 Yes. A dead animal. Classic.

It's Wednesday, Ya'll!

What fairy tale character would you most associate with?
I'm going to pretend that Spongebob Squarepants is a fairy tale character and say Squidward Tentacles. HE JUST WANTS SOME DANG PEACE AND QUIET TO PLAY HIS CLARINET!

What brand are your trainers?
I'm going to assume this means tennis shoes. I have a few pairs, but I think my most current pair are New Balance. They get a ton of use. Seriously. A ton.

If you ruled your own country, who would you get to writer your national anthem?
John Mayer. Unlike SOMEONE - I really enjoy his new album...

Who is the most intelligent person you know?
Oh wow. I think this question should be "Who has a will that you would like to be added to?" I'm going to go with my uncle Rich. Super smart guy (and super nice and charming and likes to hug people and deserves a gift basket from Omaha Steaks...)

How did you get your name?
My dad said to my mom, "Honey, I think we should name her Scout!" and my mom replied, "That will be the name of our next horse. We're going to name this human baby 'Sarah Ruth'."

What's the best piece of advice anyone has ever given you?
"Geez, Sarah - calm down and BREATHE."

If you had to describe yourself as a flavor, what would it be?
I just had a maple bacon cupcake today and it was utterly delicious and weird, so I'm going with maple-bacon-cupcake-flavored!

If you had to describe yourself as a car, what would it be?
One that goes.

Do you think laughing at someone's misfortune is wrong?
Ahhh, classic schadenfreude. (Sing it with me now "Happiness at the misfortune of others!?!? That IS German!!") It completely depends on how misfortunate the misfortune is.

Sliced Bread 2.0

The other day Mike and Beth hosted my favorite holiday of the year - Meatfest. Have you ever had 7 courses of meat? No?? Awww...that makes me sad for you. Just thinking about it now is making my mouth water for bite-sized pieces of filet mignon wrapped in bacon.
What the event boils down to is course after course of meats and happiness, culminating in a dessert of prime rib and cheesecake (separately, of course). Along with the meats, Beth made a vat of sangria and there happened to be many friends to catch up with.
While catching up with these friends, I learned many things - such as how work has been going for anyone and everyone (standard answer "busy"), why 2012 is apparently the best.movie.ever (this was told to me by a 13 year old, so I'm taking that with a loving grain of salt - as I don't want to believe that the world is going to end so violently with John Cusack at the helm on December 21, 2012), and what books people are reading now (FYI: It's smut). One conversation led me to discover one of my favorite new things of the moment and I thought - as a public service, of course - that I'd blog about it...

Wendy was explaining to me that she had ordered 100 pounds worth of kettle bells from walmart.com and it only cost $3 in shipping. When she mentioned this, I had two thoughts:
1. Wendy is the most dedicated non-competitive athlete that I've ever met in my life.
2. Wait. Three dollars to ship that much stuff??? That would cost you $175 if you tried to check that much luggage on a US Airways flight (I was well-versed in the costs of checked luggage as I had just researched it 2 days earlier so Lauren would be informed how much it would cost her to go on her honeymoon with that many pairs of shoes...).

At that point, I made some serious mental notes. Not so much a mental note about Pylman's love of working out - this was not news, but a mental note to check out walmart.com.

Fast forward to me making a shopping list on my phone of all of my stuff that I needed to get at Walmart the next time I went. I must mention that I hate the Walmart next to my house. It's always packed, there are always screaming children, and...well, I just don't like it (why do I have to explain myself to you!!?!?).
So anywhoozles, I was starting to map out how long I could push off making the excursion, "Okay, if I keep my toilet paper use in check, use bar soap instead of shower gel, and only do one load of laundry this week, I can put off going for another week...yeah, that's good. This isn't procrastination - it's self preservation!"
While thinking on my hatred of fighting the Wal-mart crowds, I thought to myself, "If only I could just order this crap online. Wait. I wonder if they DO sell this crap online!?!?....."

It turns out....THEY DO SELL THAT CRAP ONLINE!!!!!!!

So, I'm here to share with the masses...you don't have to go to Wal-mart anymore! You can get everything you need on Walmart.com and the best part is...if you spend over $45, it ships for free!
Who doesn't spend $45 on deodorant and toilet paper!?!
Have you ever gotten irritated lugging that giant jug of laundry detergent from the store to your car and then from your car to your house?? Don't get irritated anymore! They will drop it on your doorstep, my friends!

I feel as though my world has opened up. I can now picture myself having children someday because I won't have to drag the brats along with me to the store!

Dang. Sam Walton was a bloody genius.

Guess what day it is!?!?

Are you a clean or messy person?
Looking at the house right now, I would probably go with messy-ish.

What's your preferred playing piece in monopoly?
"I don't play Monopoly on a regular basis, but what I do - I'm a top hat." - Most Interesting Girl in the World

Can or Do you still play twister?
Can I? Yes. Do I? Nope.

Can you play chess?
Hmmm...I think I could if I had to.

Do you know the dance steps to an annoying cheesy pop song?
Who doesn't know and love the Macarena?

Do you prefer straight or bendy straws?
Oh my gosh! What a funny question. I actually hate bendy straws - I didn't realize I wasn't the only one with a preference!

Have you ever entered a talent contest?
In the 3rd grade we did a dance routine to Kris Kross Jump. Shockingly, we lost to a kid that actually knew how to play an instrument.

Do you like poetry?
Not really.

Are you a bad loser?
Not really.

Which would you choose? Jelly or Ice Cream?
What kind of question is this? That's like asking if you prefer flying or salt. They are two totally different things! (But if I had to choose - Ice Cream)

Whats your favorite type of Pie?
Pumpkin!

What's your most used phrases?
"Stoked", "Awesomesauce", and "Dang it!"

How long does it take you to get ready?
30 minutes.

Rando-question Wednesday!

Can you down a pint (of anything) at once?
Probably water, but I don't think I've ever tried.

Have you ever been banned from a public place?
What kind of hooligans get banned from public places?

How much spam email do you tend to get a week?
Probably close to 400 in my junk email account. In my work - maybe 3 a week...

If you could learn any language fluently what would it be?
Spanish. Not because I'm dying to know it, but it certainly would be the handiest of all languages to know.

As a kid were you ever frightened of a monster under the bed or in the cupboard?
Not really. I think when I was in the 1st grade I thought there was a witch outside my bedroom one time, but that was hardly a nightly occurrence.

Do you like clowns?
I feel about clowns how I feel about Myspace....wildly indifferent.

Do you prefer BBC or ITV?
I have no clue what ITV is, so I guess BBC...

Have you ever been surfing?
Nah - I have no desire to learn.

Have you ever been snowboarding?
Nope.

Who was better, the Beatles or Elvis Presley?
The Beatles, yo!

What's your favorite type of foreign food?
This feels like cheating, but Japanese - more specifically, sushi.

Which Foreign country do you dislike the most?
Ugh - Mexico. The things that I saw in that country were uber disturbing.

Do you like your music loud or easy listening?
Depends on what I'm doing, but for the most part - not anything too loud while I'm working.

Do you sing in the shower?
Totes!

Random Question Wednesday - Back on Track!

Can you blow bubbles with bubblegum?
Totally! I've got mad skills!

Can you curl your tongue?
Yes. Again...mad skills.

Is your bellybutton an innie or outie?
Innie.

What would be your dream car?
One that runs and I don't have to ever worry about starting! (Is it sad that I honestly do not care what I drive as long as it's reliable and has power everything??)

Are you left or right handed?
Rightie

What was the last book you read?
I just finished My Boyfriend Wrote a Book About Me by Hilary Winston. Hilarious. I just dug into How Evan Broke His Head and Other Secrets by Garth Stein. Good stuff so far!

What was the last song you danced to?
This question would be so much easier after Lauren's wedding reception in a week and a half. Hmmm...I'll pretend that I made up a choreographed dance to one of my favorite songs of the moment (Gravity). It is really dramatic (at least in my head).

Have you ever owned a yo-yo?
I'm sure I have at one point or another. Although, it was probably one of those automatic yo-yos that you can't mess up. Remember those?

Who was the last person to send you a text message?
Colleen Croghan. She's a winner. If I had 18 cents, I'd definitely use it to pay for the tax on her coffee and double cheeseburger at McDonalds. (WHO ORDERS A COFFEE WITH A CHEESEBURGER?!?!? COLLEEN, YOU ARE A WEIRDO!!!)

Have you ever accidentally injured anyone?
Ugh - yes. I still feel awful about it. Both times I accidentally cut open my little brother's head. Once when I was going sideways on a swing and he was swinging properly (like 4 year olds do). We collided and it was the first time I saw the wrath of my great grandpa. I'm fairly certain he said, "He is worth SO much more than you ever will be" (with his eyes, of course). I will speak the truth right here - my little brother was absolutely my great grandpa's favorite grandchild. And no...it doesn't hurt at all. Seriously...I'm cool with it.

The second time was when I was getting ice skates out of the attic to go skate on our pond. I dropped one down...on top of my little brother's head. Thinking back, I probably shouldn't have told my 7 year old brother to catch an ice skate.

Are you scared of spiders?
Only the furry ones that go missing after I go get a shoe to kill them.

Whoops - I missed last week! Random Question Tuesday...

How do you have your eggs?
Scrambled - unless it's over-easy on top of a Sam I Am Burger at Bad Daddy's Burger Bar (formally Big Daddy's Burger Bar, mom...thanks for getting me hooked on that joint!)

Whats your favorite saying?
Do not regret growing older, it's a privilege denied to many. (Appropriately, on a Snapple lid)

Have you ever been in a tug of war?
Just those stupid boys vs girls tug of war games back in school. It's a complete shock to so many people that the girls lost every dang time.

Can you stand on your hands unassisted?
Absolutely not.

Do you love or hate myspace?
Can "wildly indifferent" be an answer?

Who was the last person to knock/ring at your door?
Hmmm...that's actually a very good question. Knowing my luck it was probably the Jehovah's Witnesses. I asked if they'd like me to donate blood to their cause, but for some reason they were offended that I even offered.

How old were you when you last went trick or treating?
I think my mom made the cut-off 12. Not that it mattered - my brothers and I were quite literally the only kids within a mile on our very sparsely populated street. Bad news...there was really only 3 houses to trick or treat at. Good news...one of our neighbors gave full size candy bars out. At the time I thought "How can they afford FULL SIZE CANDY BARS!?!?"
Looking back I see that it probably was just easier to buy 3 full size candy bars for the 3 kids that lived on the street.

Have you ever been bobbing for apples?
Absolutely - although I may have used my hands. Does that mean I cheated?

What's your most expensive piece of clothing?
One of the 5 bridesmaids dresses hanging up in my closet, I'm sure...

Whats the last thing you took a picture of?
I just checked my phone. It looks like it was a picture of pictures of Sam and Brian Fisicaro. I will probably frame it soon since there is nothing more beautiful than a picture of a picture taken with the camera attached to your phone!

Have you ever bought anything from ebay?
Dude - who hasn't?